I Was Only Thinking Of Her
by Lauren R
Summary: Craig is with Ashley, but Emma catches his eye. How bad is it, really, to love someone who doesn't love you? Or to constantly wonder if they do? What are the consequences of loving someone like Emma?
1. Chapter 1

**It been inended... for this to happen. You know, the _sex_ thing. I could have sworn I was in love with Ash -- wait, _aren't_ I still in love with Ash? I don't know anymore. Knowing is overrated. What am I talking about... basically, this pregnancy thing was not supposed to happen. And it was really not supposed to happen with _her_. How did I do this to her? I've sunk myself into a trap to burrow myself out of. Emma Nelson. Emma Manning? No, no. Why am I so insane? Ash is going to _die _when she finds out. She comes back from England next week. And Emma. Manny's best friend. I feel like running away, but that would mean leaving Emma and... why is it that a week ago my feelings were so sure and now I feel like I owe it to certain people to love them? Or that I love all the wrong people? I have to go. I'm crawling out of my skin just thinking about this. **

**--Craig**

**One Month Prior:**

**Craig was sitting in the Nelson household, his head throbbing. It was a month after summer vacation has started, and the whole time, the only thing he'd been thinking about was Ashley. Mr. and Mrs. Simpson has decided to throw a surprise birthday party for Angela, and -- surprise, surprise -- Craig had to come.**

**"You've been doing nothing around this house for weeks. Look, Craig, I don't have to be nice. But I have things to be doing and you're just moping around like the world's ending."**

**Joey was one of those people who kept themselves busy when in pain. And Craig was one of those people who spouted bad songs when in pain.**

**So, here he was, his shape forever molded into the fading brown couch, while everyone was outside, chatting over cake and pie.**

**Craig was sitting, feeling sorry for himself, when he heard a crash in the kitchen. He leaned over to see what had caused such a noise, when he saw that it was Emma. And he didn't want to disturb her, with her acting so odd lately, but he felt his impulses coursing through him. It was almost enough to make him get up, but then, he noticed that she had been sobbing. Her face was red and splattered with water. He resettled on the couch, eyes wide, mouth closed. He watched her for the next minute before she vanished up the staircase.**

**"What -- Craig, what was that noise?"**

**Mr. Simpson has interrupted Craig's stupor, standing in the kitchen with his khaki shorts and flamboyant pink shirt.**

**"Oh, no! Snake's favorite appetizer plate... Craig, did you see who did this?"**

**Mr. Simpson then looked around.**

**"Craig, there's nobody here -- did you do this?"**

**Craig took one look at the stairs, and one look at Mr. Simpson, and gave a solitary nod.**

**Mr. Simpson's gaze never wavered as he stood there, hands placed authoritavly on his hips. "Well, **

**clean it up."**

**"Sorry, Mr. Simpson..." Craig uttered as he watched him step out the door once more.**

**Waiting another maddening moment, Craig stood, shifting from one foot to anothe. The time had an awkward sense to it. Like he could breathe in the obscurity. Why had Emma fled the scene? As though this was some sort of Hit and Run accident.**

**"Now I get why those guys get sued."**

**Craig walked past the refrigerator, looking for the broom, when a flash caught his eye. The refrigerator was completely plain. It wouldn't have caught his attention any other day. But today, it had a note sticking to it, written in electric green. A note Craig had this feeling that he shouldn't have been looking at, which is precisely why he did.**

**_Emma's Appointment - Mrs. Soveign - 9 am, Tuesday_.**

**What did Emma need to talk to Mrs. Soveign about? There couldn't possibly be anything perfect Emma could do, could there?**

**Craig stood, fingers barely gracing the note's ends, his face doused with curiosity. It was maddeningly hot.**

**"Craig!"**

**Joey's baritone voice somehow shattered the essence of the moment.**

**"It's time to go, c'mon, get your sister's gifts, get them in the car. Let's go."**

**Craig quickly swept up the mess and ran outside, gifts escaping from his arms left and right. Mrs. Nelson laughed as she picked up a present.**

**"Thanks for coming, Craig."**

**"Thanks, Mrs. Nelson. I'm sorry about the dish."**

**"No, it's fine."**

**"Hey, that note --"**

**Beep, beep. Joey's car had the most annoying horn.**

**"Come on, Craig, get in the car."**

**Craig rolled his eyes and stuffed the gifts in the backseat with an ecstatic Angela, looking back once more before blocking the whole topic out of his mind and taking a seat himself.**

**One month was thirty days. And thirty days was 920 hours. So, in all that time, all Ashley couldn't manage to send one postcard? Craig was a couch potatoe, doing nothing and everything that made him happy. _Emma didn't see me, right? When I was cleaning up her mess_? Oh, but Ashley! She was ignoring him, and as Craig lay there on that couch that afternoon, he couldn't help but give recognition to the fact that she probably wasn't thinking about him half as much as he was thinking about her.**

**Joey was going out of his way to make sure that Craig realized how useless he was being lately.**

**"The living room's a mess, there's cereal all over the stove -- You need to do something!"**

**Joey was driving himself into insanity. He had two feather pillows, both coming undone at the seems, clutched in his hands and at least four barbie dolls stuffed in his pocket. Craig looked over idly from the couch.**

**"But I'm not feeling too good, Joey... I can't."**

**Joey dropped the pillows and threw the barbie dolls in the sink.**

**"Craig, you've sat on that couch for the past month. I have to get to work! You clean this up."**

**"Who's going to watch Angie?" Craig asked, eyebrows raising.**

**"I'll call a babysitter -- what, is Emma doing anything these days?"**

**Craig shrugged his shoulders cluelessly as Joey whipped out his cell phone and left the house. _You know_, Craig thought, _Ashley never said we were technically broken up, did she_?**

**Joey barged through the door, boxes in each hand.**

**"Get up, Craig. Emma's on her way here and you look like a drowned rat."**

**Mrs. Nelson had heard the phone when she had been making breakfast. It's was about eleven a.m., but she knew it would cheer Emma up after seeing Mrs. Soveign. She was always upset after those meetings. They reminded her that she was guilty. So, when she answered and heard Joey on the other line, asking for babysitting help, she thought it would be exactly what Emma needed. To spend time with an adorable little girl and a sweet friend.**

**"Mom, who was that?" Emma asked glumly as she walked in through the front door with Mr. Simpson.**

**Mrs. Nelson licked her syrup-stained finger. "Hmmm? Oh, it was just Joey. He wanted to know if you could babysit for Craig."**

**Emma suddenly perked up. "What did you say?"**

**"Well, I think you should do it," Mr. Simpson chimed in, "It'd be nice to get out of the house for a while. And see Craig."**

**"See Craig, a boy. You're letting me alone in a house with a boy?"**

**Mr. Simpson and Mrs. Nelson laughed with each other, guffawing openly.**

**Mrs. Nelson stopped first. "It's _Craig_."**

**Emma was a girl. So it baffled Craig as to why she was allowed over. After all, since the Manny incident, Joey had a hard time letting anything with estrogen walk back the threshold. It was probably because Emma was Emma, and she was a family friend. A family _friend_. The word seemed funny on Emma. Like it didn't suit her. Craig finished buttoning his shirt just as the doorbell rang. He made it to the top of the staircase, standing there lamely, just in time to see Angela hopping to the door.**

**"Emma's here!"**

**She opened the door and gave Emma what seemed to be a very uncomfortable hug.**

**After Emma had given him the expected cold shoulder and brushed past him in the hall, she and Angela had setled themselves in her room. Craig was scrubbing away at the kitchen counter, determined to finish.**

**Where did Emma get off, anyway? Ignoring him after everything he did for her yesterday? _Well, it wasn't that much_, Craig told himself. But she distinctly avoided his eye. Thinking drove Craig into a frenzy. A cleaning frenzy. A rampage, if you will. He was finished in no time and off to his bed, where the magical graces of sleep would claim him.**

**Emma was sitting in Angela's room long after the little girl had fallen asleep. They had played with dolls for a few minutes and played all those games they had played before, and then she had fallen asleep. Sitting in the rocking chair, Emma could hear Craig slamming things downstairs. He had appeared rather disinterested when she arrived, and darker than she remembered. He was something she wished she could think about. The thing was... well, Craig was a call to a more innocent time, and just like her parents, there simply wasn't a way she could look that in the eye.**

**School would be starting soon, and there would be no identity Emma could hide under.**


	2. Chapter 2

**One Month Later**

**Craig stood at the steps of Degrassi Community School, sweat trickling down his palms. _Ash_. Craig had spent the summer fantasizing about her, anticipating this moment.**

**_And there she is_.**

**She was sitting in the foyer, waiting for him.**

**"Ash," he said as he walked in front of her. "How was England?"**

**She smiled, apparently nervous. "It was fine. Here, Craig," she brushed off the seat next to her. "Sit down."**

**She smiled at him, her face radiant. He took the seat, beginning to chuckle at the situation. He was nervous to sit next to his girlfriend. His _girlfriend_.**

**He looked over to her, grinning. "I missed you, Ash."**

**Those words meant something to her, he could tell. She took his hand. "I missed you, too. And, actually, England wasn't all that great. I spent all my time -- "**

**Ashley's words suddenly droned off after Craig looked up at the entrance. Sean was standing at the doors, looking around for familliar faces.**

**"Sean!"**

**Ashley looked surprised. "Craig, I was talking."**

**"Hmm? Oh, I know."**

**Seans made his way over to them, eyebrows raising.**

**"What are you doing back? And what's with the style rewind?"**

**Sean looked down at his clothes. There were no headphones, no caps, no jackets. There was a simple old gray T-shirt and a pair of loose jeans.**

**"Where's that hat thing you always used to wear?"**

**Sean shrugged. "Have either of you seen Emma?"**

**Craig suddenly sat up. "Emma?"**

**Ashley, who had folded her hands onto her lap, replied, "Yeah, she was in the library just before I came here. hey, do any of you guys know what happened to her?"**

**Sean was now alert. "Something happened to her?"**

**"Well, we don't _know _exactly. She's just been quiet -- and, and that enviorment stuff she always used to do... well, she's not doing it anymore."**

**"Is she still in the library?"**

**"No... I think she left for her homeroom." Ashley said.**

**Spinner suddenly plopped down next to Ashley.**

**"Spinner, watch out!"**

**"You too, Ms. Prissy Pants?"**

**Ahsley was annoyed nd confused. "What?"**

**"It's Emma. Thinks she's queen of the world. I was sitting there in homeroom and she comes in all huffy and tells me to get out of her chair."**

**"Spinner, they assign chairs in homeroom."**

**Spinner shook his head. "_Minor detail_."**

**"What homeroom was she in?" Sean asked.**

**"Dude, you don't want to go in there. Ms. Kwan's spouting horns and turning over desks. She's got this idea that --"**

**"Spinner, what homeroom?"**

**"Are you still on that? Room 301, why do you care so much?"**

**"Thanks. I'm gonna go."**

**Craig watched Sean walk off as Spinner and Ashley started to bicker. He couldn't help wonder what Sean was going to say or the things Emma was going to think. Ashley suddenly schreeched in anxiety and snatched up her things, walking away.**

**"Craig, your girlfriend, Ashley, okay, aka Satan, did you see what she just did?"**

**Craig wasn't listening. He wasn't watching Ashley stalk off down the hallway. He was oddly distracted, and he couldn't put his finger on what was distracting him.**

**Sean had tried to find Emma that morning, but to h is dismay, the bell had gone off before he could make it to Ms. Kwan's classroom. He glumly retreated to Mr. Simpson's computer lab, angered to find tht the only free seat was next to Alex.**

**"Mr. Cameron," Mr. Simpson greeted, "Welcome back. You're late."**

**"I know, Mr. Simpson," Sean explained. "I was just looking for something."**

**"Well, look for it later?"**

**Sean nodded and sat next to Alex, her face overcoming in a grimace.**

**"What are you smiling about?" he asked irratatingly as he pulled the keyboard to him.**

**Alex swayed her leg from side to side in a nonchalant fashion. She carelessly clicked away on the mouse.**

**"Have you seen your little Emma yet?"**

**Sean looked over, clueless and curious.**

**"Why?"**

**"No reason, Cameron. Get over it."**

**She continued to chew her gum in that way that revolted Sean, eyes never meeting his. He persevered, solemn faced.**

**"What are you talking about?"**

**Emma sat in homeroom, still obsessing over the disaster that was Spinner, when Ms. Kwan stood.**

**"I'll be back in a minute, watch the lab for me, Emma?"**

**Emma nodded, watching Ms. Kwan take her leave. The school was such a crowded place. Left to right, there was something peculiar. On on side, there was Kendra throwing her arms in the air, scrucnhing up her face and throwing her arms around Liberty. Then, there on the other, Craig was lingering in the hall, half walking, half standing, glancing into her room every few seconds. Mr. Simpson was blowing his nose in that disturbing way he did near the bathroom, JT's face contorting in horror as he walked past into the room.**

**Emma smiled as JT sat next to her, placing his bookbag on the floor.**

**"So," he said, "Have you heard the _news _yet?"**

**Emma looked up from her lap.**

**"What news?"**

**JT smiled michcieviously. "The man who dare not speak his name."**

**"JT," Emma said, slightly frustrated. "That makes no sense.**

**But JT was still grinning like the Chesire Cat. He leaned in to Emma, who followed suit. The two sat there, both leaning into each other, attention focused on no one but one another.**

**"_Sean's back_,"**


	3. Chapter 3

**Craig sat in second period, Media Immersion, fidgeting. Ashley was sitting next to him, focused onthe lesson completely, but Craig was anxious. Anxious to get out. He couldn't help but feel as though he was trapped, just hopelessly trapped. What did he want? He had Ashley. She was sitting right next to him -- they couldn't get much closer than that. He was being rather despondent; he knew it was only a matter of time until someone noticed.**

**"Craig, are you alright?"**

**Craig nodded, not looking in her direction. He was staring at nothing imparticular, just anything but Ashley.**

**"You can't sit still."**

**He nodded again. "I know." He sighed. "I've got to get out of here."**

**What had Sean said to Emma this morning? Had they gotten back together? The bell now chimed off, signaling Craig to get the hell out of there as fast as he could. He bolted out of the classroom, backpack swinging from his arms. His attention was unfocused, once again. He was speed walking, running really. And then he collided. Emma was kneeling before him, shocked.**

**"Emma!" Craig sputtered, arms outreaching to help her. He knelt next to her. The hallway was thinning of people. "I didn't see you at alll, where'd you come from?"**

**This was his chance to ask her about Sean.**

**"Hey, Emma --"**

**"Craig, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." She looked as if she had something else on her mind. "I'll see you at Jack's party, okay?"**

**She walked off before he had a chance to stop her. The hallway was completely empty now. So there Craig stood lamely, backpack at his feet, feeling completely ignored.**

**Craig was in the locker room, donning a pair of red boxers and a white shirt. He had tried to talk to Sean about Emma earlier, but he was despondent and shy to talk. The whole gym class, he had stood in the corner while Armstrong yelled for him to participate.**

**"Hey, Sean," Craig said, throwing his towwel to the side.**

**"What?" Sean replied, apparently bothered as he stared into his locker.**

**"Nothing, I was just..."**

**Sean rolled his eyes and slammed his locker shut, striding to the showers. Craig felt a little dejected, but decided to push it off as Spinner approached his locker. Marco gave him the coldest glare as he passed. Craig knew there was still a bit of bad blood between the two since last year. Everyone had pretty much stopped shunning Spinner except Jimmy, Hazel, and Marco.**

**"Okay, Craig, I was at the Dot, and I was just working like it was nobody's business, right?"**

**"Right."**

**"So Manny walks in, and she starts --"**

**There was suddenly a loud crash. Swiveling around, Craig saw that Sean had wrestled Jay into a locker and the two were going at it heavily. Sean took Jay's head in one hand and started banging it against a locker, determined not to stop, to finish what he started. The violence was getting Craig's adrenaline pumping, and like a fool, without knowing what he was doing, he jumped in and separated the both. He stood, arms spread out between the two, looking nervously from one side to another. The two boys were looking as though they were about to kill each other, Craig standing in between them. And that's when it all came out.**

**Sean went first. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"**

**Craig stared. "What'd he do?"**

**The pair ignored him, both still glaring at one another.**

**Jay smiled, blood trickling from his forehead. "What do you mean?"**

**"Why do you think you can do that to Emma?"**

**Craig's hands suddenly dropped.**

**Sean was seething with rage, and Craig was just in a timeless stupor of curiosity, tinged with dread, just standing there. He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately; standing and staring, letting his mind take control.**

**"Dude, what does Emma have to do with this?" Spinner asked. "Get back to the fighting."**

**Jay looked over. "Shut up, Spinner."**

**"No!" Sean shocked everyone by the tone of his voice. "Tell him Jay! Tell the whole world how disgusting you were!"**

**And Jay simply stood, glued to his spot. Craig was honestly dreading what he knew he was about to hear, and he didn't know why. The thought of a major locker room brawl being centered around Emma was just too awkward, and the thought of Ash knowing that it meant so much to him, that he had been clinging on to every word, was just way too obscure.**

**Why did these things get to him?**

**Jay's eyebrows then cocked themselves in one motion. "Don't."**

**"You made Emma give you a blow job!"**

**Right there was when Craig felt his knees go weak.**

**"Craig, are you okay?" Spinner asked from the sidelines.**

**The query went unanswered. Craig was feeling some sort of strain on his head. It was all to much information to take in at once. Emma... and Jay? An unexpected layer of hate soothed over him. At Jay, for being the one who got the girl, at Sean, for being the one who didn't, and Spinner... for sitting there like an idiot.**

**"I didn't make her do anything!" Jay retorted. "She did it herself, okay? And you know what, Sean? You missed out! Okay? Is that what you were worrying over or something?"**

**You missed out. The words replayed ove and over in Craig's head. "So... she was good?"**

**Craig immediately regretted asking those questions. He felt like slapping himself on the forehead.**

**"What?" Spinner said, completely awed. "Dude, what did you just ask? Did you seriously ask that?"**

**Craig looked away, ashamed and reluctant to speak.**

**"Spinner will you shut up?" Sean asked through clenched teeth.**

**"No, Spinner," Jay ordered, "Don't."**

**"Jay, shut the hell up! You go around giving Emma ghonnorhea--"**

**Craig's eyes widened. "She got ghonnorhea?"**

**"--And you don't even care! She was my girlfriend!"**

**Sean went forward to release a splur of swear words before Jay pushed Craig aside and pummeled him. The two fought for a time before Craig came to his senses and broke the two apart, the whole locker room chanting in excitement.**

**"You don't know what she meant!" Sean suddenly yelled, the two of them straightening their clothes and fizing their rumled hair. "You had no idea what she meant --"**

**"Sean," Spinner said warningly, "I know you're upset, or whatever, but I think you need to calm doen before Armstrong hears you."**

**But it was too late. Vision clearing to give a good view, Mr. Armstrong was standing in the doorway, arms folded and face smug.**

**Craig stood outside the locker room ten minutes after Sean and Jay had been driven off by Mr. Armstrong, his hands shaking. For some reason, visions of Emma doing unspeakable acts lingered in his head, and on his hands. He swore he could feel her under his fingertips, the way Jay had... but that was just his foolishness, he guessed. Everyone was out about around him, unsupervised, laughing and mimicking the event that had taken place before him. He shook his head once more to clear his head of the unexpected thoughts, and sunk to the ground against the wall. Marco, looking over from his group of acquaintances, approached him. Craig spoke first.**

**"Well, that was interesting wasn't it?" His face was full of disgust and anger.**

**"Yeah," Marco said, trying to lighten the mood. "I mean it was --"**

**"Where do they think they can get off, anyway?" Craig interrupted, hardly noticing his disruption. "Talking about Emma like that to everyone."**

**Marco shrugged, clueless. "I don't know." He looked at the clock. "The bell's about to ring. We should get up."**

**Craig nodded and stood with Marco. His movements somehow seemed to be shy, and nervous, almost as if he were expecting something horrible. The bell rang and Craig moved on sluggishly, his thoughts gaining speed, tending to be a lot more embarrassing as time went on.**

**"I'm sorry to have to do this to you," Mrs. Hatzilakos said moments later. "But you know the rules of Degrassi School. If you haven't been updated on the Code of Conduct, I suggest you read it. No fighting is permitted in this school." She looked from Jay to Sean, who both gave off an impassive face. "I have to go get your detention forms. I'll be back in one minute."**

**She stood from her chair and left the room, leaving both Jay and Sean alone. It was a silent room for a few moments, very silent indeed.**

**Jay looked over in revoltion. "Why'd you have to say anything?"**

**"Shut up."**

**"No. Look, I didn't wanna say anything 'cause I didn't want to tell the whole world Emma's business."**

**Sean was suddenly a bit bashful. He looked up from his bleeding hand. "I didn't think about that."**

**"Obviously. To fcking mad half the time to think straight."**

**"What, Jay? I have a right to be mad, okay? What you did -- it was disgusting, and you did it to iEmma/i."**

**Jay smiled again, glancing down to his lap. Sean threw his hands into the air.**

**"You think it's funny."**

**And with the way Jay continued to laugh, Sean suspected that he did.**

**Why was it that girl's preoccuppied his mind? That he felt way too much than he was supposed to when it came to girls. And why was the girl was of choice Emma lately? Craig sat in his room, on his bed, hand to forehead, way too tired to move, but too curious to sleep.**

**Hopeless romantic. He was a sucker for girls, and he wasn't supposed to be having these feelings. It was pitiful, really -- it was girls that were supposed to fall into obsession, and fantasize incessantly. If anyone were to know of how school girl-like he could be, with his bashful hopes and shy insecurities, it would be a spectacle. He would be exposed for everyone to see.**

**"Craig, still moping, eh?"**

**Joey had come to the door, apparently in a good mood.**

**"C'mon, get your things. We're going to Snake's for Jack's party."**

**Craig's jaw dropped. His gaze lifted as he moved the pillow from his lap. "To Emma's?"**

**Joey's eyes narrowed although he was still grinning. "Are you okay? Did something happen between you two and Ash?"**

**"Ash? No, no, she's fine."**

**Joey nodded. "Okay, well, then, invite her."**


	4. Chapter 4

**Justintylor, thanks for keeping up with the story and thanks for replying. I love yours, too.**

**Suzzy20, thanks for reading and for the compliment. I'm posting as often as I can.**

**Fightinfillini, more to come and, well, lol, I'm happy the story can be so addicting.**

**Iamthundermonkey, you've been reading for a long time, too. Thank you!**

**Chavela20, I'm posting more soon. Thanks.**

**Idontknowanything, thanks for reading and thanks for the review.**

**jc4u, don't worry, I'm anti jemma too. I'm sorry if anyone is looking for Jemma, but I'm not a fan of it.**

**Aprildaisy, yeah, that's pretty much what's happening. I'm posting more now, and thanks!**

**Ashley was busy standing at her kitchen counter sclicing tomatoes when she heard the phone ring.**

**"Toby!"**

**To her dismay, the phone rang again.**

**"Toby! Get the phone!"**

**With no answer, and aparently, no interest, Ashley indignantly wiped her hands on her apron and picked up the phone.**

**"Hello?"**

**"Hey, Ash, what's wrong, are you not feeling good?"**

**He sounded more hopeful than concerned.**

**"Craig? Is that you?"**

**She turned back to her tomatoes, carefully pushing the knife away from the cutting board. "No, it's fine." Her voice raised. "Just someone won't pick up the phone!"**

**"Yeah -- hey Ash, you know Mrs. Nelson, right?"**

**"Emma's mom, yeah. Oh, did you hear about Emma?"**

**Back in the Jeremiah household, Craig actually froze. He literally lost all knowledge of the fact that he was supposed to me moving. She actually knew... She actually _knew_. Obviously it was big news to her, because she took on a whisper to her words.**

**"I mean, I'm not one to talk, but I just never thought she'd do something so stupid."**

**Craig's hand drew to his forehead once again, his eyes closing with tension. He didn't want to be hearing about this. He didn't even want to _talk _about it.**

**"Yeah... me neither, just, can we just... can we just go to the party?"**

**Ashley continued to slice her tomatoes in the Kerwin residence. "What party?"**

**"Mrs. Nelson's having a party for baby Jack."**

**"And?"**

**"Well, I wanted to know if you would come."**

**"Well, it'd just be kind of odd, don't you think?"**

**"Well, if you don't want to go --"**

**"No, it's fine. Be here to pick me up at seven?"**

**"...Sure."**

**Ashley turned the phone off and threw it aside, thinking nothing of it. Inside the Jeremiah house, Craig had fallen back onto his bed in a slump. Things were taking way too much energy these days, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. A party was the exact thing he didn't want to do -- and a party with Emma? Probably the most awkward night of his life...**

**Craig stood at the door of the Nelson house after thirty minutes of listening to Angela and Joey croon to his horrible old band song. So now, hot pie in hand, Craig stood shivering outside in the cold, both Ashley and Angela clamoring up to him for warmth. It was as though they found him to be some chivalrous hero; a big strong man to graciously lend a hand to those in need. But he didn't really get what that was all about. He didn't really consider himself much of a man, anyway.**

**"Joey!"**

**Mrs. Nelson had opened the door, cup of gingerale in one hand and bottle of milk in the other.**

**"Come in, come in. I just put Jack down for a nap, so you're gonna have to be a little quiet. So, thank you for coming. Craig, you brought your girlfriend, I see?"**

**Craig's attention snapped back to Ashley, who was standing idly beside him. He had forgotten she was there.**

**"Oh, yeah."**

**Joey removed his coat, taking Angela's as well, hanging them near the door. Craig felt as if he should have removed Ashely's coat for her, but apparently he waited too long, and she did it herself.**

**"Well, Emma's downstairs if you guys want to talk to her." Mrs. Nelson said as she lead Joey and Angela to the living room. "Oh, just don't get offended by anything she says."**

**This left Craig and Ashley standing in the middle of a crowded room, feeling completely unwelcome. Craig looked around at the party guests, shifting from one foot to the other. Ashley took his hand, and swiveling around to meet her face, he saw she was smiling.**

**"C'mon. We'll never have fun if we don't try. Let's go sit with Mr. Simpson and play cards."**

**She started to move in the direction of the poker table, but Craig stubbornly held his ground.**

**"What if we didn't... I mean, what if we went to talk to Emma?"**

**Ashey grinned to hide her skeptisicm. "Craig, you can't be serious. She's in a weird place right now, let's just leave her alone."**

**It toook a moment of thinking for Craig to finally shake his head in agreement and allow him to lead him off to areas unknown, but once she did, he felt a little more at home. Like he actually belonged there in the midst of all the people.**

**Emma lay in a neat little coil on her bed, hair twisted around her finger. It was just about eleven at night, and all she heard was the distant rumblings of a party. She knew her parents deserved a little fun, and she knew they had been seriously deprived of it for a very long time, but she also knew that she hated when other people were happy when she wasn't. It was selfish, obviously, but couldn't they all bask in misery with her?**

**Sean hadn't approached her all day, although she had expected him to. After four months of his absence, it was only proper for him to seek her out. Especially after he cut things off with Ellie. _But the school_, she suddenly though in agony, _everyone gossiping ... can't they all just shut up_? But it was too much to ask that everyone forget what she did. As Mrs. Soveign said, "You make mistakes. You have to clean them up."**

**"Hey, Emma..."**

**She swiftly sat upright, gazing in the direction of the stairs. _Craig's here_. The way he just stood there, his shirt weakly clinging to his shoulders... he looked so incredibly dishelved in his very Craig like way. It was a tie between attractive and bleak.**

**Craig made his way down the dusty basement stairs, his hands gracing the web-woven walls. He hadn't anticipated on coming here tonight; all he knew was that he wanted it. After telling Ashley he'd be gone in the bathroom, where was exactly where he had intended to go, he noticed the door. The basement door. It wasn't much, but it was rnough to sustain the inexplicable bubble of curiosity he held.**

**"Hey, Emma..."**

**The fact that it was just the two of them in this grimy basement, stuck with the silence and forced to deal with it, was so oddly unbearable. But he put himself in this situation, so he had to deal with it.**

**His eyebrows rose. "Can I sit?"**

**She nodded, clearly giving him full-fledged permission. There should have been no reason Craig felt in the least bit guilty. Still, something didn't feel so right about it.**

**"Congratulations." Emma said, smiling cheerfully. "You're the first boy to ever enter my bedroom."**

**She spread her arms out, showcasing the area around them. She was so blissfully happy; happier than he'd seen her in months.**

**"Yeah," Craig laughed. "I can see why, this place is a dump."**

**"This place is a kingdom!" She protested, letting her hands go wild. "I love it down here."**

**"It seems private."**

**Emma gazed off into a faraway corner of the room, grinning. "It is. No, really, the only thing Spike comes down here for is the laundry, and she does that when I'm at school."**

**It was then at this moment that Craig sat there, absentmindledly nodding his head, that he realized his feelings for Emma. It wasn't an epiphany, or a revelation of any sort. It was just this knowledge that he accepted.**

**"Oh, and that's your _makeup_ stand." He sauntered over to the vanity and made a funny face. "You're such a girly-girl."**

**Her face was beaming by now, more radiant than imaginable. It was sweet, in a way. He could make her feel something, and he was proud of that.**

**"So, how's Ashley?"**

**In dissappointment, Craig set the lipgloss he was twidling in his fingers down, and placed his hands on his hips, letting them slide down to their normal position.**

**"Oh, _that_. Well, Ashley's good, she's really good. She's written, like, forty songs since we got back together, and she's just really happy."**

**"That's good. Why didn't she come? Joey said you were going to bring her."**

**What would she think if she knew he had abandoned his girlfriend for another girl? _She would make me go upstairs_.**

**"Craig."**

**An upsetting voice, belonging to none other than Ashley. She stood in the dark, shock spreading over her face. Misunderstanding. Confusion. What explanation could there be for all of this?**

**"Craig, you said you were in the bathroom."**

**"I was. I just wanted to talk to Emma."**

**He was _horrible_. Less than dirt. Ashley had done nothing wrong lately; she deserved much more.**

**"Umm, okay. I'm going to be upstairs." she said, clearly signifying that the show would continue above ground.**

**Emma had seated herself upon the stool that lie in front of her vanity hardly a moment after Craig had left. He had made a beeline for his girlfriend, face nothing but apologies and his departure nothing but abrupt. No acknowledgements were made toward anyone as he carried himself out of the room, determined to reach his destination.**

**It would be weird to face him Monday at school. Groaning at this thought, Emma realized it trudged up a whole pocketful of unpleasantries. Reasons to dread Monday morning. Lamenting over horrors of the future, Emma was completely caught offguard when the phone beckoned her her attention. No matter how private the basement was, it wasn't silent. Emma knew she wouldn't find that in any particular corner of the house. So, sighing, she swung her legs from the bed and began strolling up the stairs.**

**When Craig saw Ashley exit the house and enter teh backyard, he knew she had something to say... something... loud. And he didn't like it. So, sputtering words that didn't actually make any sense, he followed her on her journey to the vacant back. He stopped before her, nervously and cluelessly shifting.**

**"Craig, it's not like this is a big deal,"**

**Craig could almost go weak in the knees from the guilt, she sounded so nice.**

**"But _what _were you doing down there. You tell me you'll be in the bathroom but I find you giddy as a school girl in Emma's room?"**

**There was that school girl comparison again.**

**"It's just weird. I'm not mad or anything -- I mean, why would I be? But Emma's been down enough as it is."**

**Craig made a beeline for his girlfriend, a remorseful look upon his face. Words sputtered from him, none making any actual sense, nonetheless a satisfactory form of apology to Ashley.**

**No, no one talks like that to her face**

**Will you babysit? No abysitter needed**

**"I know," Craig said.**

**Ashley grabbed his hand, beginning to sway hers along jauntily, causing Craig's to go along for the ride.''**

**"There's a rave next week. We could go together for a couple of hours. It could be nice."**

**Craig remembered the last time he had been to a rave. It had been anything but nice.**

**"Sure." He answered.**

**Ashley smiled, her hand moving a lot faster.**

**"I love you."**

**"Yeah," Craig said, feeling uncomfortable. "I love you too."**


	5. Chapter 5

**Monday morning was a disappointment. Sean had been complaing about Emma again, making Craig want to shove his fingers into his ears, and then went on to moan about his detention and how unfair it was.**

**"You started a fight in the locker room!"**

**"Yeah, but it was Jay's fault!" Sean protested.**

**Craig had tried to reason countless times.**

**"Look, why don't you jsut talk to her."**

**"Because I don't know what to tell her."**

**Craig felt as if it was best not to get involved with the whole Emma/Sean situation. After all, she seemed to be getting back on track. He had seen her eating lunch with Manny and Toby, and had even spotted her handing out posters for an enviormental meeting. She was finally getting over last year, and he didn't want to disturb that.**

**"Ellie and me are broken up. But I still don't know if I'm mad at her for what she did or not."**

**How pathetic. He coudln't make up his mind as to hate someone or not?**

**"But you like her?" Craig asked, expecting the worst.**

**Emma and Manny sat in the sun, eyes closed, soaking up the heat.**

**"Em." Manny said, her eyes closed, still taking in the rays. "Are you going to the rave?"**

**"I heard about it. I don't think so."**

**"No, you should go. Just because Sean doesn't go to raves --"**

**"It's not because of Sean. He'll talk to me when he's ready, whatever."**

**"I'm sorry everyone's harrassing you at school about Jay."**

**"It's not a big deal. I really don't care. I just want to get on with my life."**

**"So come to the rave. You can get on with your life there."**

**Persistence was Manny's strong point.**

**"I don't know."**

**"C'mon, Em. It would be like last time."**

**Emma laughed. The last rave had been a disaster.**

**"Alright. I'll go."**

**Why did Ashley want to go to the rave? He didn't dance, she didn't dance, and they both hated hip-hop music. When he pictured a night at the rave, he pictured the two of them standing off to the side with no place to go. He pictured out of place. But it's not like that mattered anyway. Ashley pictured lights, sparkles, magic -- which is probably why she had taken him along with her to go shopping for the perfect outfit, which was just so unbearably boring he thought he was going to _die_. It was one of those moments where you've been stuck in this one tiny room for hours and can't see yourself ever getting out of it. Like shopping with your mother.**

**Paige suddenly pulled back the curtain to her dressing room, stepping out in what seemed to be a poor excuse for a dress.**

**"I look horrible." She complained. "Look at this. It looked fine on the manequinn."**

**Ashley stepped forward, pulling the dress down as if to make it look better. The two of them stared into the mirror. It was obvious where this was going.**

**"Paige, maybe you should pick out a different dress."**

**"I wanted this one -- this was the perfect dress."**

**Craig let himself wander off in his mind while the two conversed -- thinking of unnattainable things... He hadn't talked to Emma in a while. This new feelings thing he had for her really made him feel guilty. But having feelings for someone means letting them take up all your time -- all your mental and physical energy... and -- is it weird that he pictured her in the shower?**

**"This rave is going to be so great -- I wonder who's gonna be there?"**

**"Uhh, duh, hun, all of Toronto's been talking about it. Everyone's going to be there."**

**Accepting the feelings meant not fighting them. But there are certain people in the world who you're going to love, and certain people you should. He _owed_ it to Ashley to love her.**

**"Umm... what's wrong with Craig?" Ashley asked, looking over to him. He was still off in his thoughts.**

**Paige looked over, grinning.**

**  
"That's boys, hun. No brains to speak of."**

**She looked back at Craig once more before walking off to change, leaving Ashley and him alone.**

**"Craig?"**

**"What?"**

**"Are you alright?"**

**Craig felt a tinge of sorrow for her, but it was dissmissed within a moment's time.**

**"I'm fine. Let's -- what'd you pick?"**

**Ashley then smiled, spinning around on the spot, displaying herself to the fullest.**

**"It's nice!" Craig exclaimed, actually meaning it. She looked gorgeous in her outfit, and he was happy that he actually appreciated it.**

**"This is going to be so great." Ashley said. "This rave, it's going to be so much fun."**

**"Ash, like, what makes you want to go so bad?" Craig asked.**

**It was then that he realized how much he meant to her. With her next few actions, she let him know. Taking his hands in hers, she never stopped smiling. He was going to break this. If he acted on his feelings, he was going to break this wonderful thing he had with Ash.**

**"I love being with you, so it has to be great."**

**Setting down her bottle of pop, Emma looked up into the blinding sun, immediately recoiling. She had invited JT and Toby over for lunch, which she and Manny had prepared. It was oddly gratifying -- serving other people.**

**"So, Emma -- what's going on with Sean?" Manny asked, leaning over the table.**

**Jt smiled and mischievioulsy winked to Emma as a joke, making her laugh.**

**"He's probably too busy getting back with Ellie to talk to anyone," Toby said, stabbing his tofu with a stick. "He hasn't said a word to me the whole time he's been back."**

**"Well he's Mr. Popularity," Jt joked. "Can't expect a busy man like him to talk to little people like you."**

**He snatched the stick from Toby, who looked up, surprised.**

**"That's so gross, Jt." Manny said as she watched him stick it in Toby's ear.**

**Jt -- always the jokester. He was nice to have around. Toby automatically withdrew the stick from his ear, disgusted but happy at the same time. He chuckled a bit and threw it aside.**

**"Sean's just got his own life," Emma explained rationally. "He has his own friends now."**

**"Oh, you mean Mr. Bad Boy Jay Hogart -- king of Degrassi." Jt quipped, mocking Jay.**

**"I hate that guy," Toby added.**

**Talk like this didn't bother Emma anymore. Talk about Jay. Last year, she would have lost it if anyone mentioned him, but now, it was nice ot hear someone making fun of him.**

**"And this rave," Jt said. "I mean, does anyone actually have fun at them?"**

**"I've never been to one," Toby said.**

**"I have," Manny replied.**

**Emma smiled and laughed. "Yeah, and let's not talk about that."**

**Jt grinned. "Why, what happened?"**

**Emma knew all too well what happened. That had been a night that had struck a blow at her and Manny's friendship, and another blow at another particular relationship.**

**"Where's the sweet and sour sauce?" Manny suddenly asked, moving things around on the table to find it. "I thought I brought it out here."**

**"Sweet and sour sauce? Isn't that for Chinese food?"**

**"Not only for Chinese food." Toby answered, starting to help in the search.**

**"You never answered my question?"**

**"Guys, we need sweet and sour sauce for the chicken," Manny said.**

**"I'll go get it." Emma said.**

**The corner store wasn't that far, and besides, she wasn't going to miss much. Just Jt badgering Manny for a retelling of times gone past... come to think of it, that probably would be funny.**

**"What does 'ttyl' mean?"**

**Craig, Spinner and Marco had all gathered together for an informal band practice when Spinner decided to go to the corner store, dragging them along on his quest for spray cheese.**

**"It's kind of like..." Marco gave a wave to a fake friend, demonstrating the use of the phrase. "'Bye guys, ttyl.'"**

**Spinner's eyes narrowed as he looked up, asking sincerely, "What is that, like -- 'tantalizingly touching you later'?"**

**Craig threw his head back in disgust. "Ugg! Spin, are you kidding me?**

**He proceeded into the store, still shaking his head, and started to look around for things that might catch his interest.**

**"Think about it, Spin," Marco tried to explain, now walking in the store himself. "T-t-y-l. Talk to you later?"**

**Spinner gave a dissappointed head toss. "That's not very exciting."**

**"It's internet talk," Craig said. "Why would it be? Hey, did you guys see -- Emma?"**

**Spinner and Marco looked confused, smiling slightly.**

**"Did we see Emma?" Spinner laughed.**

**"Shut up, Spin, she's right there." Craig said, trying not to be noticed.**

**It was stupid -- obvious, really -- but he couldn't help asking.**

**"How my hair? Is it too big?"**

**Looking up at Craig's bush of curls, as though the answer was obvious, Spinner answered, "Uhh, yeah."**

**"What's so special about Emma?" Marco inquired, standing on his tiptoes to see her.**

**"What? Nothing -- just my dad's over her house right now."**

**Craig carried on with his business, trying to seem nonchalant. She was carrying sweet and sour sauce for some ridiculous reason.**

**"What's the sauce for?" Spinner asked, reading his mind.**

**"Craig."**

**She had spotted him. Acting like the loser he was, he looked up, trying to remain casual.**

**"Emma, hey. What are you doing here?"**

**She held up the sauce. "So are you going to the rave?"**

**"Why? _Are you going_?"**

**She nodded. "Yeah, Snake made arrangements to take care of baby Jack."**

**Craig smiled, noticing that Spinner and Marco were watching him in confusion.**

**"So Joey's been at our house for a while. You wanna come see him?"**

**"Umm, Craig was gonna hang out at my house." Marco said.**

**"Marco, it'll be, like, five minutes. I'll be right back, okay?"**

**Marco looked like he was about to say something, but Craig ignored it, knowing he was being selfish. Dropping his items on the counter, he exited with Emma.**

**Joey sat at the table of his two best friends, Spike and Snake. They had invited him over for lunch, when he had gracefully accepted, only now, it was a quarter past two, and he still hadn't had his lunch. His two friends were too busy analyzing their out-of-date map and marking areas to notice anything trivial like _eating_.**

**"I think it'd be nice to stop in British Columbia -- I have family that live there." Spike said, putting the salt shaker on the dot that labeled the city.**

**Snake laughed a bit to be polite, removing the salt shaker. "That'd be nice, Spike, but we only have so much money for gas and we have to make it to Niagra Falls with it."**

**The three of them had planned a vacation -- a vacation to Niagra Falls. It had started out as something only for Snake and Spike -- a sort of romantic getaway -- but they had turned it into a small reunion of high school friends and acquaintances. After asking a number of old friends to meet them at Niagra Falls that Friday, they had informed him of the event, and he jumped at the chance to wear his old fedore without being laughed at. The thing about it was that now they wanted to make all these pitstops to visit old friends and see more sights.**

**"Besides," Joey said, "You can see your family any old time. Let's just get where we need to go and go."**

**"Joey," Mrs. Nelson said, nudging the pepper out of her way, "Where's Craig, I thought he was coming?"**

**"Craig! Craig got all quiet weird when I asked him. Said he had to go shopping with Ash and her friends."**

**Snake laughed. "I bet he loved that."**

**Joey smiled, chewing on a pretzel. "He didn't sound too pleased."**

**There was suddenly the noise of the front door opening.**

**"Mom?"**

**"Hi, sweetie, we're in here." Spike said.**

**"Hmm, Emma, how's she doing?" Joey asked quietly.**

**"Oh, tons better. Loads better. It's really nice."**

**Emma walked into the kitchen, accompanied by Craig, sauce splattered over both of their shirts.**

**"What happened to you two?" Snake asked.**

**Emma looked over to Craig. "Someone got a little crazy with the sweet and sour sauce."**

**Craig giggled, putting his hand to his mouth to stop as Emma sat it down on the table. "We called a truce, I swear."**

**"Why haven't you guys started eating yet?" Emma asked, eyes narrowing.**

**"No idea." Joey mumbled.**

**"Well, we've just been busy. We've been planning out our trip." Snake replied. "We're off to Niagra Falls."**

**"Really? When?" Craig said.**

**"This Friday." Spike answered, standing and pulling three salads from the refrigerator. "Emma, are Jt and Toby still outside?"**

**"Yeah. I've just got to give them this." Emma picked up the sauce and sauntered off outside.**

**"So," Craig said, "You guys'll be leaving on Friday."**

**"Yeah, I'm gonna need you to babysit Jack."**

**Suddenly this insane idea popped into Craig's head, and at first he ridded himself of it, thinking it was too stupid, too half baked. But then, he though about it and --**

**"Umm, actually Joey, I'm going to a rave that night. I might not be back until dark."**

**"Craig, I'm gonna need you to watch Angela all night."**

**"Joey, I know, but I'm not gonna be back until, like, two in the morning because I promised Ash I would go to her house after and watch movies."**

**Joey then smiled. "You two gonna be doing anything I sould know about?"**

**Craig returned the grin. "No. I just promised her and she really wants me to come. Ask Emma -- she can spend the night if she has to. She's gonna have to babysit Jack, anyway, right Ms. Nelson? So she can bring him over our house."**

**Joey looked like he was taking it into consideration. "It sounds like it would work. It would all be up to Emma."**

**Craig felt so incredibly cunning, so sly -- yet so excited. He couldn't believe he might actually get away with this. Emma at his house for a whole night. He knew he was still with Ashley, and that he had to remain faithful to her -- he couldn't kiss Emma or anything -- so he wouldn't. He wouldn't tell her he liked her.**

**He just wanted the night to come quicker.**

**Emma stepped outside into the sunlight and placed the bottle of sauce down, claiming her spot next to Manny once more. It was obvious what they had been discussing in her absence: Craig. When she had approached with him, Manny looked baffled, Toby shocked -- Jt however, looked excited.**

**"So," Manny said, looking down at the table, "What's Craig doing here?"**

**"He was at the corner store," Emma answered, then asked innocently, "Why? What's wrong with him?"**

**"Nothing, he was just the last person we expected you to come waltzing home with." Jt said. "I mean, we see you go to the store, and you come back with Craig latched to your side."**

**Latched to her side? Emma hadn't been anywhere near Craig. As a matter of fact, she distinctly remembered him avoiding any physical contact whatsoever. Maybe that was just in her mind.**

**"It was just a shock, that's all." Toby added.**

**"Why'd you guys have all those big ketchup stains?" Manny asked, wiping a glop of sauce from Emma's neck.**

**"It's not ketchup," Ema laughed, pushing her hand away. "It's the sauce."**

**"Explains why only half's left." Jt moped, peering into the bottle.**

**There was the sound of a door wrenching open and Emma turned to see that it was Craig, looking extremely self aware.**

**"Em, I've gotta go. I've got band practice."**

**"It's okay, Craig. I'll see you at the rave."**

**Jt smiled and waved prettily to Craig as he left, Toby and Manny looking down at their plates.**


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for all the replies and reviews!

**Emma stood in front of her marble sink, hair dripping black. It was the darkness of the moment -- her, standing there, hair dark as sin. She was a fool.**

**Manny suddenly came to the door and froze, mouth widening in surprise.**

**"Em! What did you do to yourself?"**

**"I had to do something with my hair," she moaned, hopelessness falling over her face.**

**"Yeah, but Em -- are you sure you want it black?"**

**Emma straightened herself and took a long gaze in the mirror. "No, no I didn't."**

**The night had turned into a fiasco. Jt, Manny and Toby had come over to get ready, but everywhere they turned, there was another disaster.**

**Jt stumbled into the doorway, his hand out of the picture for some reason. Something pushed him and his fumbled, taking his other hand and pushing it away in annoyance.**

**"Uh, Emma? Crazy glue -- let's just say I got it on me."**

**"JT! Are you serious!"**

**Emma bound forward, pulling Jt's arm until she saw Toby come by force. Jt's hand was glued to his hair.**

**"_How_ did you do this?"**

**Emma continued to spaz while Jt searched for an explanation. Manny obviously found this all very funny, including Toby's grunts of pain.**

**"Manny! It's not funny!"**

**"No, Em, it's not that -- it's just that your hair dye is dripping all over Jt's white shirt!"**

**Noticing this, Jt looked down and backed away from Emma, holding his shirt up for display.**

**"Aaaah, Emma, eww. _Eww_!"**

**"This night sucks!" Toby said as Jt dragged him along. "Will you call the poison control center or something? AAh, Jt!"**

**Emma took a moment to breathe, then looked up to Manny, ignoring the squabbles of the boys.**

**"Manny, I'm going to dry my hair."**

**Manny nodded, listening patiently and reverently.**

**"When I come out, I want you to have a new shirt on Jt, and his hand off of Toby's head. Can you do that?"**

**Manny nodded, turning back to the boys. Emma slowly inched the door closed, her face impassive. How could a night like this ever turn out to be anything but pitiful?**

**Craig entered the rave in a sort of surreal state. The sights he was seeing, the electric jolts, he was feeling, it was all this neverending parade. He vaguely wondered how he got himself caught up in a world like this before he let Ashley pull him off to the side of the dance floor. Spinner had already wandered off to migle mindlessly with Marco and his group of friends.**

**"You wanna dance?" Ashley asked, taking her jacket off.**

**Craig paused. He hadn't expected having to dance. If anything, he had expected some sort of odd, indescribably embarrassing thing where they did anything _but_ dance.**

**"Are you serious?" he asked.**

**"What do you mean? Serious about what?"**

**Craig smiled a bit. "I don't wanna dance yet, is tha tokay? I was gonna go talk to Jimmy."**

**He gestured over to where Jimmy and Hazel were giggling ferociously in the corner. Ashley looked over, nodding her head.**

**"Alright, okay. You go over there and I'll go wait for Paige."**

**The two of them parted ways, Craig walking over to the area Jimmy and Hazel had deemed theirs, when he glanced over at the entrance. Emma had arrived, her jacket sprawled over her head. Manny was with her, followed by Jt and Toby.**

**Craig was going to be physically sick. He had just spotted Jay and Sean. Why would they come to a rave? They were "cooler" than that. Craig's eyes narrowed as he watched. It was like a horror movie -- when the characters are doing the exact thing you knew they shouldn't.**

**Emma had been anticipating the rave all week. She had been hyperventialting in excitement. Looking back on that now, she realized she had really been excited about nothing. While there were many attractions, she found the rave repelling her more than enticing her. It was loud, chaotic, full of bumbling drunks -- absolutely nothing like it had been last year. It had grown more wild.**

**"Emma," Manny said, turning to Emma, her back to the people, "do you see them?"**

**Emma's eyes skimmed the crowds. "What? See who?"**

**"Emma, it's ithem./i Sean and Jay. Where'd Jt and Toby go?"**

**It was hard to figure out how she had missed them before because Sean and Jay did anything but blend in. While everyone else was running around, going crazy, they kept their composure and sincerity.**

**"What would Sean and Jay be doing here?" Emma asked.**

**The two of them peaked her curiosity. Maybe Sean would talk to her about Wasaga Beach.**

**"I don't know, do you think we should go?" Manny said, turning to see them coming closer.**

**"No," Emma said confidentally. "They probably just wanna talk."**

**Manny gazed up at Emma. "Take that stupid thing off your hair!"**

**A split second before Sean and Jay arrived, Emma swiped the jacket from her head, feeling a bit too obvious.**

**"Sean, Jay, hi." Manny greeted warmly.**

**Sean did a double take. "What with your hair? Is that a wig?"**

**"No..." Emma answered, embarrassed. "I dyed it, I dyed it for the rave..." her voice trailed off insignificantly.**

**Jay let out a swoop of laughter. "_Oh my God_. That's your -- that's your hair?"**

**"Jay, shut up." Sean said.**

**"It's just because it hasn't been brushed," Manny replied, trying to make Emma feel better, then leaning in to Emma to whisper, "We'll pick up some peroxide at the store later, I promise."**

**Sean stared at Emma, which was partly creepy but partly nice. It reminded her of seventh grade.**

**"Do you wanna go and talk somewhere?" Sean asked.**

**Emma took this into consideration. He had been avoiding her for so long, and who knew when he might do it again. She had to take this chance. Maybe their relationship could be saved after all.**

**Craig had just come out of the bathroom in time to see Emma and Sean making their happy little way to a private room. _Oh, yes, this is exactly what I hoped for_, he thought sarcastically. It took him a moment to notice but it appeared Emma was wearing some sort of a Cleopatra wig, apparently laboring under the delusion that it was Halloween. He knew he was staring maliciously, his head bent at a funny angle, but it came naturally to him, and no one seemed to be noticing anyway, so he continued to stare, his eyes wide and mesmerized.**

**"Hey, Craig," Manny had approached him, a bottle of pop in her hands. She was grinning cheerily. "I didn't know you'd come here."**

**"Yeah, Ashley brought me."**

**Manny took a drink of her pop. "Where is Ashley?"**

**"Going to get Paige... so Emma, where's she going to?"**

**Manny then smiled slightly, running her finger along the rim of her bottle. "I don't know... off with Sean somewhere."**

**"Do any of you by chance know what happened to Jt?"**

**Liberty had sauntered over, her lips pursed and foot tapping in impatience.**

**"No, no I don't." Craig answered, looking elsewhere. "I have to go."**

**He started to move off, away from the girls, when he heard a phone go off. The sound was coming from Manny's shirt. She reached her hand into her jacket and withdrew a tiny black cell phone, flipping it open to check the number.**

**"Is that Emma's cell phone?" Craig asked, finding new reason to stay.**

**"Hello?" Manny spoke into the speaker. "Mrs. Nelson? O-okay, I'll have to -- Mrs. Nelson, are you alright?"**

**The rave had shockingly become unbearably hot. What now? What was happening in Craig's life now?**

**"Mrs. Nelson, calm down!"**

**Manny then encased the phone with her small hands, grasping it tightly. She looked up at Liberty, then Craig, hesitant.**

**"I-I have something to tell Emma."**

****


	7. Chapter 7

**Sean and Emma had settled themselves on a large and comfortable couch, getting comfy in the cushions. They hadn't spoken the whole time so far, leading Emma to think that this confrontation might be a lot stiffer than she wanted. Sean was hunched over, elbow to his knees, breathing deeply.**

**"So," Emma said happily, "Wasaga Beach, how was it?"**

**Sean looked up to her ecstatic face, apparently not in the same light mood. Emma compared the two of their expressions: His was grim, brooding, while she had this excited, childish smile plastered on her face. It wasn't a wonder that he looks annoyed.**

**"Wasaga Beach was good. It was fine. Emma -- Jay, you and Jay, you gave Jay a blow job."**

**Complete silence. His eyebrows -- his large, bushy eyebrows -- were furrowed, his eyes still, not blinking. It was as if he could never get over this, nothing she said could penetrate though his head. However, Emma's face was emotionless, not in the least bit guilty, even though she knew she was.**

**"...Sean, I don't want you to be mad. I just -- we weren't even toether at the time, why does it matter?"**

**"Emma, what's wrong with you? You don't get it? You and Jay, _together_. It's sick! And you let it happen!"**

**Nodding, she let her face fall into her hands. Everything, the guilt, the shame, the regret, it all was piling back onto her now. Everything she had worked past in the last few months. It was all coming back because of Sean.**

**"What is it?" Craig asked sincerely, stepping forward. "Is it something with her mom?"**

**Manny looked as though she was searching for the words. "Actually, Craig, it involves you, too."**

**"Well what? What is it?"**

**"It's a car accident!" Manny shouted as the music volume was turned up. "Joey -- he was driving. But he's okay," she added at Craig's worried face, "Joey's fine. It's just Mr. Simpson."**

**Craig's eyes widened. "Well, we have to go tell Emma!"**

**He set off, Manny on his heels, still holding the phone. It was unfortunate that the rave was so large. If it hadn't been, they could have been over to Emma in no time.**

**"Craig! Aren't you forgetting Ashley?" Manny yelled, hurrying to keep up with him.**

**Craig couldn't hear what she was saying anymore. Chris and his cousin had turned the volume up so loud he couldn't even hear his own footsteps.**

**"There it is! There's the door!"**

**Manny reached for the handle when Craig stopped her.**

**"Wait! Wait! We don't know what they're doing in there!" he exclaimed.**

**"Even more reason to go in," Manny reasoned logically.**

**Craig was still a bit flustered, squeamish, even, but he knew it wasn't the time.**

**"C'mon, Craig, Mr. Simpson's in a car accident, it's not like she wouldn't want to know!"**

**Sean laid his hand on Emma's shoulder, massaging it lightly. Emma had been crying for five minutes straight. It was a miracle he had put up with it for so long.**

**"Sean, thank you, thank you so much. I'm sorry I'm such a mess!" she said, her long fingers wiping away running mascara.**

**"No, it's no problem, Emma. I shouldn't be mad at you for the whole Jay thing. I mean, it's not like you haven't hear it all before... did you hear your name being called?"**

**Emma peered over at the door inquisitively. "I don't think so. Why? Did you?"**

**"Yeah, I just heard it again."**

**Sean stood and walked over to the door, opening it to reveal Manny and Craig.**

**Craig had developed this nervous twitch about him by the time Manny spoke up. She took a step forward, extending her arm to Emma, giving her the cell phone back. Curious but concerned, Emma idly took it.**

**"Manny, what's wrong?"**

**"It's Snake. Your --" she was in an anxious fret. Looking back to Craig for help, she stuttered a bit. Such horrible news... and here they were with the worst newscaster ever.**

**"Snake got in a car accident," Craig said. "Him and Joey..."**

**Why was it that some people (_Manny_) were terrible at dealing with stress?**

**Manny had recovered from her spasms by now. "It's okay, Emma, he's in the hospital already."**

**Understandably, Emma looked worried. Then, to Craig's discomfort, Sean took Emma's hand, trying to soothe her. It wasn't like Craig was this big stud or anything -- but how could he make _this_ seem good? It wasn't like he bragged or anything -- but if he did -- he could just imagine himself --**

_**Emma Nelson? Oh, really, you know her? Yeah, she spent last night crying on my shoulder. That's right. Mine. She was upset about her dad, so I just gave her a hug while Sean stood pointlessly by...**_

**That was the geekiest fantasy _ever_.**

**Manny stepped forward again, taking Emma's arm considerately then speaking delicately, "Em, your mom said to just go on about as normal. To go to Craig's... umm, Mrs. Valaz should be dropping the kids off and... Em, I'm really sorry."**

**She truly did look it. Emma smiled slightly at Sean and detatched their hands, turning back to Manny and embracing her in a hug. So, great -- no, really, _great_ -- Craig was the only one going to survive leaving the room with absolutely no physical contact.**

**"Do you think you could come by Craig's house and stay there for a while?"**

**"Well, it's up to Craig. He's got to go to Ashley's, right?"**

**Emma, Manny and Sean all stared at him, wanting an answer. Craig noticed this a bit late.**

**"Oh! My house? Yeah, sure, go... how long are you gonna be there?"**

**The girls looked at each other, then back at Craig.**

**"Eleven?"**

**Craig nodded. He'd go find Ashley, spend whatever time with her until eleven, then leaveb Manny smiled gratefully, taking hold of a sullen Emma. "Thanks, Craig."**

**Nodding in reply, Craig sighed, looking away. Well, this night was ruined.**

**"Jt and Toby!" Emma exclaimed in frustration. "Ugg! C'mon, Manny, we've got to go get them!"**

**Emma tramped off, now a bit more angry than sad, Manny trotting behind her.**

**"But -- Em? We don't know where they are!"**

**"Emma, I'll uh, I'll talk to you later?" Sean called, trying to be supportive.**

**The two disappeared from sight, leaving Craig and Sean with nothing. There was the option of making nice manly talk with Sean, pardoning himself and leaving. After doing exactly that, Craig found himself moving along the hyper crowd of the rave, seeking Ashley out. To his fortune, Ashley was busy too having fun with paige to notice he had been gone, which made him feel a bit unimportant, but was nevertheless helpful.**

**"Hey!" Ashely shouted, running up to him. "Craig, c'mon, let's dance."**

**Emma and Manny had found Jt and Toby in the middle of the dance floor trying to dance. Toby had been doing a pretty good job, but for Jt there was no hope. After a lot of complaining, the boys agreed to tag along, muttering to themselves as they inched closer to the door.**

**"Were barely here for an hour..." Jt moped, which was actually true.**

**"Where are we going?" Toby asked.**

**Manny turned her head to him. "Drugstore, then to Craig's."**

**Craig had planned to stay with Ashley until eleven o'clock, and he had meant to stick by that promise, he really had -- but the pull to Emma was too strong now, so fifteen minutes later, the plan was gone.**

**"Ashley!" Craig yelled, walking across the parking lot.**

**Ashley, Spinner, Paige and Marco had taken to running around the cars like maniacs. The whole thing had started with Paige.**

**"Uhhg, Marco, I'm dying of thirst, can you _please _get me some water?"**

**She had proceeded to complain of the heat, then scurried off outside for relief.**

**"Paige -- it's not that bad!" Spinner yelled, following her.**

**From then on, it was inevitable. Craig was stuck watching them all have the time of their lives while he was too busy anxiously awaiting the rest of the night.**

**"Ah! _Spinner_! What's wrong with you?"**

**Craig had fallen to his knees in pain, after Spinner had run up to him and hit him in the ribcage as a joke.**

**"You've been standing there for the past ten minutes -- hitting you was like my duty."**

**In reality, the offense wasn't even that hard. The pain had subsided and thinking back, Spinner hadn't even hit him that hard. Just as he was about to stand and claim himself alright, the rest of the group ran over.**

**"Craig?" Marco asked, helping him up.**

**"Spin, what'd you do now?" Ashley groaned.**

**"I didn't do anything!" Spinner defended himself.**

**"No, it's okay," Craig said, deciding to use this to his advantage. "I've just got to go home and put some ice on it."**

**"You sure?" Ashley asked.**

**"Yeah, I'm sure."**

**Craig suddenly wanted to thrash his way down the streets. To fully live out this panicky, anxious feeling he was having. This elation. There was no way to do it justice with words, so he wasn't even going to try.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Jt, Toby and Manny had all huddled around Emma at Craig's house, deciding exactly what would be the best battle plan to fix her hair. They speculated that it was too dark to simply put the dye on it -- they would have to lighten the black first. All in all, that was as far as the plan went, because a half an hour later, they were still sitting there with the dye, discussing Snake.**

**"I'm sure it'll be fine, Em," Manny assured Emma, taking the hair dye into her hands. "Besides, worrying about that right now is kind of pointless."**

**"I'm not worrying. I'm just curious to find out what's happened."**

**Jt snatched up the box, twirling it. "I never really got these things."**

**"Uh, it's for disasters like this!" Emma exclaimed, pointing to her head.**

**She stood and followed Manny up the stairs, but not a minute later, a crash was heard, and she was bolting down the steps. There was Craig, standing lamely in the doorway, Jt off to the side laughing his head off. It was adorable, the way he stood there so puzzled and fidgety.**

**"Craig," Emma said, continuing to walk downstairs. "You said you were coming later."**

**"I know -- I know but Ashley had to go."**

**"Actually, Emma, it's getting past my curfew," Manny whispered. "I need to go."**

**"Take Jt and Toby with you."**

**Emma and Craig had seated themselves on opposite couches, on opposite sides of the room, as far away from each other as possible. Craig found himself fussing around like a moron but couldn't bring himself to stop. Every position he was in was never good enough, and whatever conversation starter that popped into his head he ignored. They were all laughable -- and he was so exposed. So exposed to her. He was _so_ transparent.**

**"Angela's getting ready for bed," Emma said. "And Jack's been asleep all night."**

**Craig nodded. "So, um, sorry I didn't stay at the rave longer, it's just that Spinner -- he hurt my stomach pretty bad."**

**"How bad?" Emma asked, taking a standing position. The pillow that had been on her lap fell to the floor.**

**She approached him, his eyes wide and mouth falling open. He really had no idea what to say.**

**"Uhh..." Craig immediately stood up, noticing that they were really close. "Pretty bad. I mean, it still hurts."**

**Emma took a light grip on his shirt, making him fret even more. How far was she going to go with this?**

**"Can I?" she asked.**

**Craig nodded, not daring to open his mouth.**

**Emma lifted his shirt, unclothing his pale stomach. The fact that her eyes were actually on his stomach made him want to go weak and giggle at the same time.**

**"I don't see any bruises... does it hurt when I do this?"**

**She places her ice cold hand on his stomach, causing him to shiver. She pressed down on his rib cage and glanced up at him. He realized about now he should be feigning sounds of illness.**

**"Oh! Yeah, Ow!"**

**"This right here?"**

**"Yeah, that one."**

**She let his shirt fall back into place, covering his stomach once more. He knew he was going to relive this moment hundreds of times to come.**

**Emma turned and sauntered back to her couch, then looking at the box of dye on the table.**

**"Craig, would you mind if I dyed my hair in your kitchen sink?"**

**"Dye -- oh, your hair! That's _dye_?"**

**"Yeah, what was it supposed to be?"**

**"Nothing! Nothing, just... I'll help."**

**Emma was in the same uncomfortable hunched position for the second time that night. The only thing she could hear was the sound of rushing water as it cascaded down her head.**

**"It's just something I read once," Craig shouted, spraying her hair with the hose. "If you put hand soap on dyed hair it's supposed to lighten it."**

**"I can't hear what you're saying!"**

**Turning the knob to the off, Craig took a towel and patted Emma's hair dry.**

**"I said hand soap lightens the dye."**

**"Oh," Emma said, straightening herself and holding the towel in its place. "Does your stomach hurt?"**

**Craig laughed, amazed at the fact she was still thinking about it. "No, it's fine."**

**"Don't be such a matyr," she giggled.**

**"Me the matyr? Oh, yeah right, Emma!"**

**Emma unwrapped the towel and threw her head back, then forward, splattering Craig with water, cackling insanely.**

**"Oh, Mr. Manning. I'm sorry." she said innocently.**

**Craig paused for a moment, taking in the hilarity, then grabbed the hose, ready to point it at Emma, but was interrupted by the phone echoing through the house. Dashing madly for it, Emma snatched it up and brought it to her face, listening intently. Craig stood off to the side for what felt like eternity, waiting for the verdict, waiting to see her reaction. He knew whatever it was, he'd be there to deal with it. He'd have to. More importantly he wanted to.**

**"Okay... Okay... well how long is he in there for? Yeah... I promise. Bye."**

**Emma slowly put the receiver down, not moving. Completely silence. There was no movement in her, no response. She simply stared listlessly ahead. Craig watched her in concern, stepping forward, determined to make her feel better, feel anything--**

**However he was apparently not need. Emma sprinted away, running faster than he had ever seen her go, up, up the stairs and gone.**

**Craig couldn't bing himself to run after her. He had spent the past month filling his mind with the preposterous idea that maybe she thought of him, _maybe_ she , but that was all wishful thinking, all of it. The hour was so bleak, dismal, a cinematic pain nothing could match. And the world around him, such a pretty picture. He was a filthy wreck in a picture perfect world.**

**Emma was a heartbreaker. She prospered in his mind unjustly. She had no right to be there, to have what she had of him. And she had it all.**

**It's a feeling that contradicts itself -- hating someone for not loving you, staying desolated for their sake, staying ruined because you know they're good enough to have your pain, to be the cause of it. But they don't even know it, which is such an asinine concept, such a laughable thought -- it was bitter.**

**He was a screaming little boy, and he was screaming for her. Over and over again, screaming. She was _born _to rip his heart out and _she didn't even know it_.**

**He felt like he was having a heart attack, his chest was so heavy. He was chasing her, chasing her constantly, but her speed never faultered. She had done it to Sean, she had done it to Chris -- now he was her latest victim, a prized posession of hers to keep, to hide away forever. It was like history. She had her own museum, and now he was part of it.**

**He was wrapped in his twisted emotions -- the ones full of hate, the ones with passion. And the fact that all she had to do was apologize -- he would forgive her in a heartbeat, because he couldn't resist her.**

**Why did she have such an effect on him? This girl, this one girl, had wrenched all these feelings, from so many people... Being in love wasn't all it was cracked up to be. And why? Because being in love isn't all good, like all the books tell you. When you love someone, they can make you or break you, and Emma was breaking him. Unintentionally breaking him...**

**Love is full of all sorts of unknown dimensions, and Craig was just beginning to devour them.**


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks, I'd thank you all individually, but I have to go to bed. I'm glad you all like it, and glad you stuck around. I'll try to keep it good.


	10. Chapter 10

**Drained of his spirit, Craig lazily walked back into the house, curious to know where Emma was and what she was doing. The only reason he had decided to come back was the fact that he had cut his finger on the garbage top outside and it was bleeding. But he had just suffered a breakdown and knew better than to think it was the last. Casually taking the steps two at a time, he teetered on the top, wondering weather to go further.**

**He placed his two hands lightly on his door and lighly pushed it open, seeing Emma. He let out a sigh of pity. She was balled in the corner, her hands grasping her hair in agony, toes curling and uncurling.**

**"Craig," she shouted in desperation, looking up, her hands still latched onto her hair, pulling it as though she was insane. "Help me. Please. Snake is -- S-Snake is in the hospital and... and he's lost a lot of blood, and -- Craig, he's been in my life so long, he can't leave now!"**

**And breaking down into a fit of sobs, she hid back under her hands, shaking uncontrollably. The only figure of a father she had ever had... and he was dying. Her hair was dry by now.**

**Only a freak like Craig could find her attractive like this, but he did. It wasn't a conventional beauty, it was... it was different. Maybe it was another demension he had failed to take into account.**

**"Emma," Craig whispered. He tentatively took a step forward. It occured to him that he was wearing nothing on his feet. He must have looked so weird wearing no shoes. He spent a good minute or two, standing there, realizing he'd never been barefoot in front of her before, smirking. The smallest things effected him.**

**"Craig?"**

**Craig then looked back at Emma, remembering the job at hand, and turned to close the door. /b**

**He had never consoled anyone in his life. As far as he could remember, it had always been the other people consoling him, other people trying to help him. He had always been the destruction, never the other way around.**

**"Emma -- iEmma/i -- just --"**

**Talking wasn't going to do the trick, not while she was absorbed in her misery. He knew underr normal circumstances, he would never touch her, but here, it seemed like the only way. It was an awkward physical grace at first, his delicate hands meeting her distubed red ones, which were still claped onto her head. His hands, on her hands, on her face. It was layers of trauma.**

**Prying her fingers off her face, he pulled them lose to his chest. She was listening now. He began to stand, taking her along gently so that their silloheusttes were dancing together on the walls.**

**They were each other's entire world now. It would have been nice if it had stayed like that, too.**

**"Craig, you don't get it!" Emma yelled, yanking her hands away and pushing past him in a huff. She was pacing the room, passing him over and over. "Snake's hurt and he's alreayd weak --"**

**"I cut my finger...?" Craig said, holding his hand up in a pathetic attempt to change the subject or by chance get some sympathy.**

**Emma hadn't noticed. "He was happy -- he was happy to be going and now, the stupid trip might be exactly what kills him!"**

**"Emma! You're dad is going to be fine. He's at the hospital inow/i. Do you think they're going to let him die?"**

**Okay, he was pretty bad at consoling people.**

**"Craig, I get that, but --"**

**Craig had no subtlety. He just leaned forward and kissed her, the only part of their bodies meeting being their lips.**

**"Craig -- I -- what are you doing?"**

**Craig paused, immediately regretting what he had just done. He had been waiting for it, anticipating it -- and he had liked it, but what iwas/i he doing?**

**"I mean... I've liked you for the longest time," she went on breathlessly, "but... that was pretty unexpected."**

**It was a kiss, their first, and he didn't want to stop there. What they were doing was wrong, sinful, but he was completely willing to feel ashamed afterward, as long as he could do this first. He had to ask.**

**"Do you still like me?"**

**He was so nervous -- so fidgety. He wasn't like one of those guys in the movies who knew exactly what they were doing.**

**"I don't know..."**

**He noticed her eyes lingering on his lips. He bent his head to kiss her again. This time it was less of a shock, and they went on from there.**

**Her lips on his was exactly what he had been looking for, but the second she reached for his jeans, he felt himself seize up. He hadn't been expecting this, but he had wanted it.**

**The bed was inevitable; it was obvious they were going to end up there, but they refused to stop. He was kissing her, kissing her everywhere, roaming areas he swore to avoid, muttering things he never had the courage to mutter outside of the bedroom.**

**This was it. This was the closest their bodies could get, as far as anyone could go. It was impossible to stop, no one could have pulled them apart. He was letting his hormones get the best of him.**

**Emma was finally his, and him hers. It was fair. It was the way it should have been. The next morning they would wake up to each other with the knowledge of what they'd done, and not be able to diffrenciate the line. The line between what is love and what is tragedy.**

**Picture this: Close up on Craig, head lying awkwardly on the pillow, neck craned back and eyes tightly shut. Now picture a loud banging out of nowhere, jerking him from his sound sleep.**

**Craig instinctively grabbed a handful of covers and wrapped them around his body, eyes dialated as he looked up at a sleeping Emma.**

**"Emma! Jo-Joey!"**

**Despite his panicked summons, she didn't retort, simply lay there half-hidden by her blanket.**

**"EMMA!"**

**Oh, it was so ironic. The sheets an immaculate white... after what they had just done with them.**

**"Emma, please wake up, please."**

**Giving up, Craig seized his jeans and jumped into them with a temendous amount of difficulty, hopping out of the room and buttoning his shirt as he went. He would be killed -- he would we stabbed for letting anything other than his brain dictate his actions. He thudded down the sunlit stairs, preparing thousands of half-baked excuses in his mind, makeshift plans, but it all went out the window once Craig hit the floor. Angie was standing in the kitchen with a vase in pieces at her feet.**

**"Angie!"**

**"I'm cleaning it -- up!"**

**There was no relief in this. No relief in not being caught. This simply proloned his agony. He had done something that reality was supposed to keep a fantasy. Sanity was supposed to keep what he had done from happening, because he would have to be insane to do such a thing.**

**"Dad said to start making breakfast! He said I should make myself some cereal, and --"**

**"Wait, you talked to Joey?"**

**"He called this morning, when you and Emma were in bed." /b**

**"_Angie_!" Craig shouted, "You saw me and -- you looked in at Emma and I?"**

**"You were sleeping, I was hungry!"**

**"Well -- what'd you tell Joey?"**

**"I told him you were sleeping and that I was hungry. Craig, can you make pancakes?"**

**Craig took hold of her shoulders, trying to make her focus. "Angela, no, no, did he say anything, anything at all about Mr. Simpson?"**

**"Just that he was getting better. Let go of me, Craig!"**

**He released her and let her go off on her breakfast. How much did she actually know? Did she have any idea what he had been up to last night?**

**There wasn't time to obsess over something so trivial. Check on Jack, call Joey, make Angela breakfast... wake Emma. There was so much to do. Jack was upstairs, so he would just nip on up there and --**

**"Emma."**

**No such luck. It wasn't going to be that simple.**

**Passing his room, he had seen that Emma was wide awake. She was kneeling on his bed, face expressionless, tugging at his pillow. That was his pillow, the one he slept with every night, and she was holding it. He still couldn't get over it. But she was standing there, staring at him, waiting for a reply. The pressure was unbelievable. Sorry wasn't good enough, I love you wasn't believable enough...**

**"We can never tell."**


	11. Chapter 11

**Craig was sitting in science class, hand to chin, as Mrs. Hatzilakos strutting around the room in her white lab coat. He had been steadily avoiding Ashley since the night of the rave, and pretty much everyone else, but there was one person that refused to leave him alone: Spinner.**

**"Dude, I didn't know you had a thing for Emma."**

**"_What_?"**

**"Yeah, I didn't know you didn't like Ashley, Mr. I Change Girlfriends Every Five Minutes."**

**"Spin, that's not even a good joke."**

**"Mr. Manning," Mrs. Hatzilakos had decided to interrupt. "Will you keep your voice down?"**

**Craig nodded, turning back to Spinner. "What makes you think I like Emma?"**

**"Uhh, only the fact you stare at her for like ten hours every time we pass her in the hall."**

**"I do not!" Craig said loudly, alerting the rest of the class.**

**"Mr. Manning!" Mrs. Hatzilakos scolded, "Will you sit down and keep your mouth shut?"**

**"Craig, Craig," Spinner beckoned him back into he conversation. "Emma spent the night at your house."**

**"So?"**

**"So... did you have sex?"**

**"Spin, could you be anymore blunt?"**

**"Dude, don't worry, think of me as, like, your man of honor. I won't say a word."**

**It turned out that Mr. Simpson had just suffered a punctured lung, a problem eaily, however painfully, fixed. Emma couldn't believe she had jumped to conclusions before; it had just sounded so serious on the phone.**

"Emma, are you going to eat your fish?" Mrs. Nelson asked, pointing to Emma's plate with her fork.

They were eating at the hospital again.

"Yeah... Mom, how long is Dad gonna be here?"

"Doctors say six weeks," Mrs. Nelson answered, taking a gulp of water, "Gotta give time for that lung to heal."

she had lost her virginity to a boy who had cheated on his girlfreind twice, and failed toa pologize for it. And it was _Craig_, old friend of the family Craig.

Had he -- had he enjoyed it?

"Em, what the matter, you haven't said anything."

Manny was going to think she'd been backstabbed... Sean was going to think her a whore. They were all going to hate her. And Craig... he would hate her if Ashley found out.

"Em?"

"What? Oh, mom, I'm fine. I'm tired." 

Craig was sitting in science class, hand to chin, as Mrs. Hatzilakos strutted around the room in her white lab coat. He had been steadily avoiding Ashley since the night of the rave, and pretty much everyone else, but there was one person that refused to leave him alone: Spinner.

"Dude, I didn't know you had a thing for Emma." 

"_What_?"

"Yeah, I didn't know you didn't like Ashley, Mr. I Change Girlfriends Every Five Minutes." 

"Spin, that's not even a good joke."

"Mr. Manning," Mrs. Hatzilakos had decided to interrupt. "Will you keep your voice down?"

Craig nodded, turning back to Spinner. "What makes you think I like Emma?"

"Uhh, only the fact you stare at her for like ten hours every time we pass her in the hall."

"I do not!" Craig said loudly, alerting the rest of the class.

"Mr. Manning!" Mrs. Hatzilakos scolded, "Will you sit down and keep your mouth shut?"

"Craig, Craig," Spinner beckoned him back into he conversation. "Emma spent the night at your house." 

"So?"

"So... did you have sex?" 

"Spin, could you be anymore blunt?"

"Dude, don't worry, think of me as, like, your Secret-Keeper." 

So Spinner knew -- this could turn out to be not so bad, Craig told himself as he hastily served mashed potatoes at the dinner table later that evening late that night. He could be sort of a go to for advice... or not. But really, Spinner probably didn't care enough to tell.

"So Spinner told me something interesting," Joey said, picking at his steak. 

Craig's nerves were suffering a beating these days -- at the slight mention of Emma, or anything related to her, he would automatically assume he'd been caught, that it was all over. 

"Uhh... what'd he tell you? I mean, did it have somethingt o do with me?"

"Well, it could." 

Spinner! Bastard!

"He mentioned that there's a Christmas show in the works at your school, you know like last year." 

Or... again, maybe not. Great, now he felt guilty for doubting Spinner.

"Oh... yeah, I heard about that." 

"Well, are you going to enter?"

"Umm... no. No, I don't think so."

"Hmm... well, Snake's better. He'll be out in a few weeks."

Craig took a long drink of his juice and slammed it down on the table. "_Great_," 

"Oh, before I forget, Manny called for you, Craig." 

**"Manny?" Craig asked. "What would she be calling for?"**

**Joey shrugged, pushing peas onto his spoon. "You know on second thought... it might not have been Manny. She didn't leave a name."**

**"Well, then, who was it?"**

**"I think it was Ashley."**

**Groan. Ashley. Calling.**

**"What'd she want?"**

**"She's your girlfriend, doesn't she have a right to call?" Joey joked.**

**"I thought Emma was your girlfriend!" Angela piped up. She had been watching the two of them for quite some time.**

**Craig gave her a warning glance and quickly changed the subject, letting the outburst go unnoticed.**

**It wouldn't have been such a big deal, if him and Emma had started going out. Their parents would probably think it was adorable... or something. Well, they would have been plenty mad if they knew how far they'd gone...**

**The thing of it was that there were still plenty of people that would object to the two of them... Sean, Ashely, Manny... that and the fact it was obvious Emma still had feelings for Sean. She didn't want to be with him.**

**They hadn't even talked to each other since the incident. Hah... referrring to it as an incident... ithey had done it all wrong/i. They had went about it all in the exact wrong way.**

**"History class is such a bore," Manny yawned a week later while in the middle of a lesson. "European history... so pointless."**

**"Manny, without European History, we would be nowhere." Emma reminded her in a whisper. She hated when people talked in the middle of a lesson.**

**"Em, you do know that you still have a stand of black in the back of your head."**

**"Shh... wait, I do?"**

**"Emma," Mrs. Kwan said as she placed a paper on her desk. "Quiet, please."**

**Emma sunk deeper into her seat while Mrs. Kwan continued to pass papers out to the remainder of the class. Her stomach gave a rumble... she hadn't eaten since morning.**

**It was hard talking to Manny these days. There was a constant anchor of guilt and sorrow hanging over her head whenever she tried.**

**"This -- is your project." Mrs. Kwan announced, holding the stack of papers int he air. "You're to research one European Country and what the effects of the Great Depression were."**

**Manny leaned closer. "So, you wanna come over to my house later? Watch movies?"**

**"...I would, but I've got this project, I should really get it out of the way." Emma lied. She couldnt' stand being with Manny for a whole night, not with what she had done.**

**"You're allowed one solitary partner." Mrs. Kwan then announced, causing Emma to sink into her seat even further.**

**"Do you want to work together? We could get it over with and so movies later?"**

**She owed it to her to accept. "Yeah... sounds good."**

**With the passing of a week, Snake was making decent progress with his lungs. The doctors had set him up on a machine to help him breathe while they had taken to calling him by his first name. All in alll, with Spike's faily visits and the nurse's sense of humor, the hospital was turning out to be a pretty friendly place.**

"Snake?" Nurse Forda called from the doorway. "Your wife's here to see you."

Massaging his chest a bit, Snake yawned. "Let 'em in."

Spike stopped by every day to make sure he wasn't lonely, which, when thinking of her busy schedule, made Snake feel very special. It's nice to know that you're loved... really. 

"Hey!" he greeted as he saw her tread in with Joey at her side. "You brought Joey! Great, this should take my mind of the chest pain."

After kissing him on the cheek and setting her bag down, she sat, motioning for Joey to follow suit. 

"So, Joe and I were talking about your situation. Six weeks until you're out... then of course the extra four off the school gave you. Got quite a vacation ahead of you!"

Snake shifted in his bed. "Yeah... so how's Emma, haven't seen her in a few days?"

"Oh, you're not going to believe it." Joey said. "Dyed her hair. All over my kitchen sink. I came home to find this huge mess in there and Craig doesn't even offer to help clean it up."

"At least Craig's normal. Emma's just been acting weird lately. She's just quiet, I can't get her to talk." 

Joey chuckled. "Don't go around thinking you're the only one with a weird kid. Mine's all up in his own world all the time. And you know, he's been like that for a while, but I just thought it was Ashley. She's here, though, I don't know what's wrong with him. But ever since we left for British Columbia, he's just not going out anymore. He's always in his room, playing with his guitar or lying around."

Snake listened with interest as Spike continued.

"Emma's just been weird for this past week or so. Since she spent the night at your house."

A moment's time past before the three of them simultaneously halted, their eyes each traveling upward to meet each other's. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Emma slammed shut her history book in exasperation. She and Manny had been doing nothing else but their ridiculous proect all day. So much, in fact, that she had almost forgotten about her throbbing stomach ache. Expectedly, after six straight hours of work, Manny was growing restless, too.**

"Can we just give this up? Take an F?"" she asked, slumping into a chair. "C'mon, Em, we can give each other manicures."

Emma ran her ony fingers through her newly-blonde hair, sighing tediously. she had been looking forward to getting the project done in one day so she wouldn't have to worry about it any longer, but apparently it required a lot more work than she had thought... which she detested.

"Kwan said the project is due on Friday."

How uptight could she possibly be?

"I just want to get this done so we can have something to present on Friday."

Her statement seemed to have sucked all the energy out of Manny. She hunched over, smoothing her brows. "Em, this is torture."

"Yeah, thanks for stating the obvious. I'm the one with the stomach ache." 

"And you're the one who ate three pieces of pizza." Manny replied, kicking her feet up on a stool.

The heat in the basement was absurd, and it only added to Emma's headache. _So, I get a stomache and a headache... this is really my day. _

"Fine, we'll take a ten minute break," she toned, spreading herself out of the bed, at last feeling comfort.

"Have you talked to Sean lately?" Manny inquired.

"Yeah, actually. He helped me in Math the other day... I think he thinks he's got to start from scratch or something after what I did with Jay. I don't think he wants to move too fast."

There was a twinge of shame from those last few words. Sean didn't know how fast she could be...

"So all's well in your twisted tangle of love?" Manny joked.

Emma gave no answer. Like she even had an answer.

"When Snake coming home?"

"He'll be back in about six weeks. My mom's over at the hospital now." 

There was really nothing to talk about after that... which was strange. The two of them fell into silence, allowing Emma's stomachache to grow more bothersome.

_You know, I think the sky should be blue. I mean what other --_

Oh, no. Without warning, Emma felt something coming up in her throat, leaving her no time to finish her mindless thought. She was dashing rapidly to the bathroom, Manny following in concern.

"Emma? Em, what's wrong?"

Before she could give an answer -- for obvious reasons -- Emma's face was plummetting down the toilet bowl. 

**That's it, him and Ashley were over with. He had decided it. He was doing nothing but torturing himself by staying together with her... why even try -- to make her feel better?**

Craig lay sprawled out lazily on his bed, phone to his ear. "Ashley... you called?" 

"Yeah, I did. Sorry, I forgot you got a cell phone," she answered.

Craig coughed. His room was so dusty. "No, it's okay. Um, okay, just -- can you meet me at my locker after third period?"

"That actually depends," she replied in a rather business like tone. "Tomorrow I have to help my Debate teacher with something at that time, and the day after that I have to organize an article for the magazine."

"Fine," Craig said impatiently, shaking his head. "Just be at my locker on Friday after third period?"

"Umm, okay." 

He could tell there was some concern coming from the other end of the phone.

"Bye, I love you."

Craig dropped the phone on the receiver like it was hot coal. It was a reflex, honestly. Well, not really... 

**Craig had no idea what he had done. Every day he woke up, unaware that a block away, Emma was waking up, too -- nauseated. He had no clue he was the cause.**

It was eerie, thinking that she was probably going to be going out with someone else after what they had done. They had committed an act so serious... and she was going to treat it as if it were nothing. She was going to ignore it, like she ignored him. He would be nothing to her.

Shuffling to his locker the next morning, pitying his sad situation, he saw that Marco was waiting for him.

"Marco... what?"

Smoothing his hair, Marco straightened himself. "Don't need to sound so stingy."

"_Stingy_?" Craig asked as he opened his locker. "Who uses that word anymore?"

Moody Craig strikes again. He would have liked to calm down, to act kind, but his annoyance level was reaching its highest. He was such a bad person.

"Who cares? Ash has been talking about you." 

Tension in his shoulders.

"And -- what's she saying?"

"Look, Craig. She didn't want me to tell you she's asking, but... are you taking your meds? Is something bugging you?"

Craig let the book in his hands slip, falling to the floor as he rested his head on the locker door. 

"She's seriously asking?"

"She just cares about you. You can't blame her, you've been weird all year." 

All year? They were only two months into the year.

Craig shoved the book into his backpack and started to walk off.

"Tell her not to balme everything on the --"

Coming to a halt, he felt his shoulders sag as he let out an audible sigh. Emma and Sean were sitting outside the school together, holding hands and laughing. Pretty picture. It made him sick.

"They're back together?" he asked in disbelief, feeling all hopes sliding away. He had been right to be so hopeless, he had been right to think she hadn't loved him -- all his horrible thoughts had been right and all his good ones had been wrong.

Marco shrugged. "I guess -- who cares?"

"Marco, I'm gonna go. I'm late." 

**Craig was going to get Emma into trouble. He was going to bring on a whole new flood of drama that she didn't want, that she knew she didn't deserve. He wouldn't mean to, but everything would all come out a catastrophe wheather he wanted it to or not. They were better off forgetting.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Sean had approached her that morning, offering another chance for the two of them, and she had accepted for two reasons. One, he still sent her heat a flutter. And two, he was her shot at forgetting.**

"It's been a long time," he had said.

It really had. Too much had happened in that time.

"I've just... I've missed you."

He had missed her... the notion sent thrills down her arms.

"I was wondering if we could try it again. Em, I love you, I swear I won't hurt you."

The promise had sounded nice. But now, what about Craig? He had no idea what to do with the aftermath of their night together. He didn't know what to do with it. But, sitting outside the school with Sean, she decided it didn't really matter. Everything would blow over.

"Your hands are soft," Sean laughed, rubbingher knuckles.

Emma grinned. "It's called lotion, try it sometime."

"Hi, _Emma_."

Jumping in her seat, Emma clutched her chest, surprised. Craig was standing before her, slightly indignant, slightly cocky.

"Craig... you scared me."

He waited a moment. "_Why_?"

It was such a leap seeing him like this, so menacing, after what she had seen him like before. He was angry with her, she could tell. She didn't think she could ever see him so upset, yet so calm. She never thought he could be so enraged with her, but

"I don't know... I just... what'd you come over here for?"

"To say hi. So, you and Sean are back together?"

"Yeah," Sean answered. "This morning. So, anyway, what's new?"

"Me? Nothing. I just have math. You should get inside, the bell's about to ring."

And as if on queu, the bell chimed off, signaling for the remainder of students to file in the building. 

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**It was natural. Someone could only take being pushed aside for so long -- eventually they had to get mad, Craig reflected in History class later that day. He had every right to be mad. He had been yearning for her for months, whereas she had been off having her own jolly little fun. _Tra la la la la_.**

"Mr. Manning, what is one major event in Canadian history?"

Craig glanced up, mouth drooping open.

"Uhh... the invention of hockey?"

Could he have been more thick?

"I mean -- uh... do we even have any?"

While the rest of the class had found him funny, Mrs. Kwan seemed to disagree.

"Mr. Manning, after a 22 on your last test, you should be paying more attention."

Oh, but how could he pay attention? He wast hinking of Emma, always thinking of Emma. Just another major effect she had on him.

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**Friday: The day of Redemption. The day Craig would free himself from Ashley. **

Most people would view this as an overall good thing, breaking up with someone you don't love. But Craig... he knew that whatever happiness he would feel would be nothing compared to the misery Ashley would.

Friday: The day of Many and Emma's presentation. The day they would get their stupid project overwith. 

Mrs. Kwan had told them that the five minutes between third and fourth period were theirs to set up and prepare, and, of course, they had taken advantage.

"Your poster's croked," Liberty pointed out. "Just a little bit to the left." 

Whatever preshow jitters Manny was having, it was nothing compared to Emma's. Her stomach was in knots.

She surmised it was due to the salty sardines she had eaten for breakfast. When she ran her theory past her friends, their replies were anything but helpful.

"Emma, sardines aren't really a breakfast food," Jt said in revoltion.

"That and they're disgusting." Toby added.

"They're not _that_ disgusting."

The fact of the matter was that she hated sardines. The taste made her want to slit her throat. But the unexplanatory part about it was the fact that she had been craving them.

"I think they're too full of sodium to have for breakfast," Liberty stated. "I'd stick with cereal from now on if I were you."

The majority of the class had assembled with two minutes to go before the bell. Standing side by side, Manny and Emma were as ready as they were going to be, both extremely proud of the work they had accomplished.

"You got your bug under control?" Manny asked under her breath, still staring at the audience.

Emma nodded. "Yeah, it was just the flu, I think."

Her stomach was in pain, but it was subsiding.

"Wait -- I lied! I lied!"

And immediately, she was scrambling from the room, leaving her classmates in utter shock.

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**Five minutes. Craig had five minutes to gently let Ashley down, then sprint his way off to class. He could break up with her in five minutes, it just wasn't enough time to do it nicely. _Look at me, being the nice perfect gentleman_. It was so sad, yet so funny. The two opposites made a common and expected duo in his life, but each time, never failed to deliver.**

"So, Craig, what'd you want to talk about?" Ashley asked, taking his hand as they strolled down the hall. "Is it something about the wedding?" 

The wedding? The -- oh... she was still thinking about getting married. This made Craig hesitant. What he had to say was the exact opposite of what she was willing to hear.

"Umm, no, actually."

Two minutes to go before the bell. The hallway was deserted now, the silence pushing him to talk, giving him no other choice. He _hated_ the silence.

"You are going to hate me..."

He said it so confidentally, like it was a fact.

One minute to go. He would have to reschedule this rendevous, or be late.

"Wait, why? Why am I going to hate you? ...Wait... do you hear that noise?"

"Noise? What --"

A second later it was obvious what the noise had been. Emma scrambled past them in a fit, the two of them gazing after her, completely confused.

"What was that?"

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**Long after Emma had left the classroom, Manny was still standing motionless in front of her peers, nervously tapping her pamphlet against her chest. Being the sane one was really embarrassing. **

"Umm, alright," Mrs. Kwan started in a baffled tone, "I guess we'll take a break?" She stood, setting her clipboard on her desk. "Manny, do you have any idea why Emma left?"

"I don't know... well, she was feeling sick earlier, she probably had to throw up."

The class groaned, sickened. _Probably not the best thing to say_. 

"Well, I guess you should just sit down and I'll call someone from the office to go get her."

Manny obeyed, taking her seat next to an amused Jt.

"If she goes home you'll just have to present on Monday. Is that alright?" 

"Yeah, it's fine, whatever."

In the midst of all the choas, people had broken into chatter about Emma, whispering excitedly to one another while Manny put her head down, dripping into an annoyingly penseive mood.

"I'm not surprised Emma's sick after eating all those sardines," Liberty said. "Some people just don't digestt hings well."

"It's not the sardines," Toby interrrupted. "She probably just got sick. I had he flu last week, she could have caught it from me." 

Jt's eyes narrowed. "Emma the health freak getting sick? Sorry, Tobes, but you've got more chance of jumping to the moon than of Emma getting sick.

Timidly, Manny lifted her head. "You guys... do you think -- do you think it's plausible that Emma's been hanging around Jay?"

"_Jay_?" Jt exclaimed, eyebrows raising. "Why would she do that? Like, you don't think she's...?"

Looking a bit uncertain, Manny nodded, confirming their suspicions.

"We're so lucky Sean's not in this class," Toby said.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey, thanks for spotting that whole Spike or Snake thing I didn't even notice! Thanks for the replies, especially the complimens.**

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**It was the last place Craig wanted to go: The Girl's Bathroom. After completely abandoning Ashley, he had sped off in Emma's direction, only to come face to face with a door, clearly marked with a "Girls Only" sign.**

**All the excitement was happening on the other side of the door, and his stupid sense of self was keeping him stuck on the wrong one. Who would see him anyway?**

**It was an ongoing battle in his head, but overall, he knew which one should win, and he let it. Bravely, he put his hand on the door, pushing it forward while it creaked mercilessly. He couldn't help but feel like he was intruding on something very private, and the moment he passed the wall to see Emma sprawled powerlessly on the floor, he knew he had been right.**

**It was pretty much the most unromantic sight, the remains of her throw-up drooping off her chin. Not bothering to mask the face of distaste, Craig automatically snatched up a paper towel and offered it to her. She took it, not in the least surprised by his presence.**

**Quivering, she actually had the courage Craig didn't. She spoke. "I'm sorry I interrupted you and Ashley."**

**Nonplussed, Craig simply hovered in front of her, the same perplexed look he had been sporting since summer on his face.**

**"This is disgusting."**

**She threw the paper towel to the side. There were still no words proper enough for the occasion. He was going to be voiceless forever.**

**There was no right thing to say, no wrong thing.. Nothing could make this better or worse, but he had to say something.**

**"Ash and I... are over. We -- well, we were just about to break up when you came."**

**Emma didn't respond. Taking in a puff of breath, Craig plopped down next to her, turning to face her, although he could tell she didn't want him looking at her.**

**"Uhh, listen I know you're with Sean and everything, and that's okay, I'm fine with it, but... well are we just going to ignore it?"**

**The madness of waiting for an answer. What tension must have been caught in his gaze.**

**"I don't know," Emma said. "Craig, I like Sean, I've liked him for the longest time. Just... if we do just 'ignore' it, I'm sorry, okay? If I avoid you, yell at you, spit in your face, whatever, I'm sorry."**

**She was predicting her actions. She was flat out telling him that she was going to treat him like dirt, and he still _did not_ give up. He just persevered. Grabbing her hands in his, he brought them to his chest, staring straight into her eyes.**

**Eyes... hah... he had never understood why they were so meaningful until now.**

**"If this is what I think it is, Emma, I swear I'll be there, okay? For you."**

**She was just that lucky. To have someone to love her relentlessly. How unfair.**

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**The prospect of impregnating another girl was just all too much for Craig to bear -- the facts were right in front of him, he couldn't ignore them any longer. He was an idiot.**

What a difficult concept -- protection.

The whole walk to Emma's was silent and could basically be whittled to one word: scary. And picking up a pregnancy test at the drug store had been torture. Craig had never liked to go there for anything personal -- acne treatmeat, toothpaste, condoms. 

_Oh_.

That might explained the predicament he was in now.

Emma motioned for him to be quiet as they snuck inside her warm, sunlit house. It was just plain comfortable in that house, he loved it.

"It's okay," Emma said as Craig shut the door. "I guess no one's home."

There wasn't much either of them could do to make their task any less awkward, so they just stood at the door, avoiding looking in one place for too long. It was pointless to mask their discomfort. 

"Well, so should we do this?" Craig asked, taking the bag from Emma's hands. Reaching inside, he pulled out a pink ad white box. "Hmm... it's very _girly_, makes sense." 

Emma took the box from him, reading the back.

"You should go sit on the couch. I'm gonna go... take this."

**Waiting for a pregnancy test is... well, it's... who knows, really. It's just _big_, no matter what the circumstance. Craig's case was no different.**

He sat on the same faded brown couch he had been lying on the past summer. _Everything had circled back to this_. To know that all the stress he'd been dealing with, all the questions, they all lead back to this one place. How many more times would he sit in that exact spot? It was a dumb question, he knew, but how much worse were things going to have to get for him to find himself back in this very spot?

And at this very single second, Ashley was probably at home, strumming along on her guitar, oblivious to the travesty that was going on just blocks away, threatening to shatter her perfect life, her perfect boyfriend -- Craig. He was held up on such a pedestal by her, and he was kicking himself off.

Why couldn't he have just left Emma alone? To her life... and him to his.

What would have been if he had? 

And what kind of person has sex with someone they don't love? Emma. Emma was the answer.

"Craig?" Emma whispered, treading down the stairs. She looked down at her hands as she placed them on the rail. "I just want to get all the pointless stuff out of the way... okay? Whatever the answer's going to be." She stretched her hands out in exasperation, looking for the words and realizing there were none. There was just a shortage of them altogether, which was pretty bad. "God, I just need to know how you feel about it, like, are you mad at me? Do you want one, if there is one are you going to be around, will it screw up your relationship with Sean -- just..." she let out a moan, causing Craig to feel a large amount of pity for her. She was just a sad thing.

Staring off into nothing, Craig answered numbly, "I'll be here." 

A bell went off, notifying the two that the test was ready. It was like it wouldn't wait, like it had no patience. Criag and Emma darted up the stairs, crowding into the bathroom, hitting doors and knocking over toothbrushes. Craig slipped like a clutz as he skid into the room, balancing himself on the paper dispenser next to the toilet.

_Read, it Emma, please God read it._

Silence, eerie silence. Emma reached for the test, gingerly picking it up, but keeping her eyes averted. He wanted it read so bad, but then, he didn't. The anxiety of wondering was such a high, and after they knew, it would be gone, no way of getting it back.

Sucking in a gap of air, Emma gazed at Craig, both of them readying themselves for the answer.

"It's positive."

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**PREGNANCY: The stage in which a sperm and an egg cell form together to form a human being within a woman's stomach. Often leads to unfavorable side effects, such as heat stroke, exhaustion, hemmroids, mood swings, and discomfort.**

...So this is what was happening to her. This is what awaited Emma on her path to detroying her future. Well, it didn't sound too good... It was amazing that one night was going to ruin the rest of her life. A few hours was going to have a ripple effect on the next sixty years. It wasn't a happy concept.

Seized up, Emma sat scrunched on her bed, tensing up her shoulders and giving herself a headache. She didn't have the strength to relieve her aching muscles... who cared... Her face was a blistery red mess. She took hold of chunks of her tangled blonde hair, pulling hard behind her head. She vaguely wondered why after all the pulling her head wasn't bleeding.

Craig sat off in the corner in front of the vanity. His posture was laid back, but his hands kept moving to touch something then retreating away. He wasn't very comfortable. He felt as if he was an intruder.

And he was. He was the reason all of this was happening, the person behind it all -- and he was just sitting there like it was no big deal! He wasn't in half as much torment as she was, but he was getting off easy.

"I have a question." Emma spat.

Craig glanced up from the mirror, putting his hands together in a fret. He was self conscience, she could tell.

"What'd you want?"

Emma squinted her eyes in malice, putting her hands over the pillow that lay on her lap. "When you set up the whole thing for me to come over the night of the rave, did you plan for that to happen?" 

**Craig shifted in his seat uncomfortably. The answer was complicated. In truth, he hadn't anticipated anything of what had happened... but he had wanted it, and he had thought about the possibilities. He hadn't meant for it to happen, but he had known it could. But was that even an answer to her question?**

Why beat around the bush?

"Sort of."

His answer came out throaty and weak. Couldn't he at least be a man?

"Sort of? That's all you can give me?" Emma yelled. She threw the pillow aside, putting her feet on the floor. She was livid. "I'm pregnant, because of your body, and sort of is the best you can give me?"

_Because of you_?

"What are you talking about, my body?" 

Emma swiveled around, scratching at her arms and legs. "I mean, _your body_!"

Craig looked down at his knee. _You naughty knee, you..._

"You know what, Emma?" Craig said, standing defiantly. "This -- this whole thing -- is not only my fault. So instead of strutting around putting the blame on everyone else, do something! Think about what you're going to do!" 

In response, Emma cocked her head and pursed her lips. She'd never been one to take orders well, nor one to be talked down to. Reaching for the bed, she grabbed her jacket and shrugged it on, her movments becoming more rapid.

"I am going to Sean's," she announced. "If you need me, I'll be there."

She proceeded to stomp up the stairs, leaving Craig alone. Yelling wasn't going to do anything. If she wasn't going to think ahead, Craig would have to.

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	15. Chapter 15

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**Sean had recently become addicted to orange juice. It was like coffee -- he couldn't go a day without some. Innocently enough, it had started when he heard that it was enriched with plenty of vitamins, and although he wasn't a health freak, the idea was appealing, so he bought some and remembered to drink one glass every day. From there, it just grew.**

Emma had phoned him not an hour ago, asking if she could come over. The answer was obviously yes. He enjoyed having her over, it was always nice. So, stumbling out into his backyard to wait, he cleared his throat and gruffly sat on the stairs, taking a swig from the quart. Without hesiation, he spat it from his mouth, coughing ferociously.

"Eww -- pulp."

He threw he container down, watching it run down the driveway, then come at Emma's feet. She had arrived.

"Are you alright?" she asked, picking the juice up. "Is it expired?"

"Nah, I'm fine," Sean answered in his usual manly way. He glanced past her for a second, then back. "Tracker's supposed to be coming so I was gonna clean up... but whatever, I'll do it later." 

Taking a seat on the picnic table, Emma repeated, "Trackers coming. At least you won't be alone."

"Em, I'm not alone."

"I mean in the house," she quickly corrected herself, "I mean, you won't be the only one here." 

She always worried about that -- him living by himself. She hated the fact he lived alone, and he loved that she cared so much. 

"So you left with Craig?" he asked. "He took you home?"

Emma noticably stiffened. "Who told you that?"

Raising his eyebrows, Sean shrugged. "Manny. She was acting all strange and said Craig took you home." 

"Well, he did. He made sure I was okay, and he left." 

Gazing off in another direction, Sean leaned back on his elbows. He knew he had a lot of work to do and not a lot of time to do it, but sitting was peaceful, and cleaning... well, cleaning was not. Nevertheless, he knew it had to be done. Groaning, he pulled himself to a standing position, offering his hand to Emma and pulling her up, too.

"I've gotta finish. I thought you'd say longer, but Tracker's gonna be here in, like, half an hour, so... I'll call you later, okay?"

He gave her a goodbye kiss and watched as she fleed down the sidewalk. Yes, seeing Emma was always nice. Seeing her go was a different story.

Let's see... he would have to do the outside first. It was in the neediest condition. He could skip his room and go straight to the kitchen, then the living room. With the plans laid out, he was ready to tackle them, but the abrupt ringing ot the phone stopped him. He let out a moan of anger. What did they _want_?

Stomping inside, he snatched up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Sean?" 

"Who is this?"

"Alex, it's Alex. Listen, don't get all mad or anything. I just thought you wanted to know what I heard about Emma."

**After a long mopey walk home, Craig stumbled his way into his dimly lit house where Joey and Angela were messing around in the kitchen. He dragged out a chair, causing a disturbing creaking sound, then sorrowfully mounted himself atop of it. His throbbing head... would someone _please_ pity him now?**

No... it was that karma boomerang. People didn't pity people like him, people who've done unspeakable things.

"So, Craig," Joey said, popping a jalepeno into his mouth. "Emma Nelson. Nelson, Emma. The fiasco, how'd it go?"

Typical upbeat Joey. Did Craig _really_have to deal with someone like this when he was in the mood he was in?

Leaning on his elbows, he responded, "Yeah, well... wait, how'd you know?"

"Spike told me, what's the matter with you?" Joey laughed, taking the top off a steaming pot.

Angela was scribbling frantically over at the side, thankfully being quiet. Craig teetered over the edge of his seat.

"Nothing's wrong with me, Joey, just... just what kind of food are you trying to make?"

"Mexican." Joey answered simplistically.

"Joey, adding a bunch of hot food doesn't make it mexican!"

"I know that, Craig." Joey said as he threw in more salsa. 

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Sean nodded his head, as if someone could actually see him. Normally, he would not listen to Alex, but she had clued him in the last time, so -- maybe what she had to say would be worthwhile.

"Why, what do you have to say?" Sean said, his body temperature rising. The answer was going to be bad... the answer was going to be bad...

"Her - and - Jay. Pregnant."

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**It was a quarter past three. Craig had suffled into school as always, keeping his head down and social ventures as minimal as possible. He needed to talk to Emma. He needed to talk... _right now_. A sense of urgency and panic -- looking around at everybody else, knowing they were all innocent -- it was inexplicable. He just needed to find the one person who could help. Emma.**

He had decided he would get a job at the Dot, serve food with Spinner, and the additional money would go to supporting the baby. Spinner would jsut put in a good word for him and --

"Craig." 

Halting smack dab in the middle of the hallway, Craig paused. Ashley was standing before him with her big blue eyes, probably looking for him to say something. She was always looking for him to say something.

"I called you, did you not get the message?"

"Well... what would you be calling me for?"

Ashley grinned slightly. "Umm, after what happened yesterday? You running off for Emma?"

Oh, that's right. He had completely forgotten everything about the breakup.

"Umm, yeah, but see, I'm kind of in the middle of something." He took a breath, fabricating a good lie. "We've only for, like five minutes before the bell and Spin told me to meet him in his homeroom."

Oh, that was _too_good. Spinner and Emma were in the same homeroom. That was it -- God _wanted_Craig to be happy.

"Oh, okay. Just don't forget to call me after school, okay? I'll see you in Kwan's." 

Smacking her lips together, she clung to Craig's hand as long as she could, then let it slip as she continued to walk. 


	16. Chapter 16

**He should have cared that she was so dependent on him, that he was the center of her world -- that would have been the nice thing to do. But he stood there, watching her cling to his hand, unwillingly letting go, and it occured to him how much this actually meant to her, and how little it had become to him. Her hand dropped, and his stayed hanging.**

And he had simply ignored it.

A breakup with Ashley was one that required much planning and many fine details. It was no a typical break up. Explanations would be needed, apologies would be asked for -- every detail had to be carefully laid out as to avoid any heartbreak.

Just another thing to add to his to-do list. But first thing was first. 

"Spin, I'm not asking a lot, just for you to get me a job application and maybe say a word or two!"

Craig and Spinner were lunching outside the school building at one of their favorite tables. Craig had decided that with Spinner's jolly mood there would be no better time to check off the top item on his to-do list. Get a job.

"_What_? Dude, I can't. You don't understand I've recommended, like, ten people but he doesn't care, okay?"

"Spin, will you just _try_?" 

Rationally laying his hands down on the table, Spinner blinked once then looked up. "He doesn't listen, okay? So naturally, whatever I say will just be a waste of my breath." 

Spinner was stubborn. Spinner was stubborn and Craig hated him.

Couldn't he see that he was desperate? And what could Craig possibly say to persuade someone like Spinner?

Rolling his eyes in annoyance and frustration, he said, "Spin, I need this job! I need the money! _Do you not get it_?"

A second after he said those words, he could tell he struck something in Spinner. His expression was that of realization. He ws putting two and two together.

Straightening himself, Spinner pushed two pop cans out of the way and sat forward, preparing to speak.

"Oh my God, dude, someone let you lose and you impregnated another girl!"

**...Shock. Complete shock. What kind of person comes up with a conclusion like that? Other than Spinner.**

A lie, would that be a smart move? 

_No, idiot_.

Craig was frightened. How loud had Spinner spoken? Who had heard?

Leaning closer in an urgent manner, Craig grabbed a hold of Spinner's shoulder, attempting to keep the conversation as private as possible.

"Okay, one -- no one 'let me loose'. Two -- well... is it that obvious? How could you tell?"

Shaking free of Craig's grip, Spinner straightened himself. "Wait, wait, wait. Let me guess first, you have to let me guess. This is the highlight of my morning. Please let me guess."

Rolling his eyes, Craig responded, "Fine, guess away."

Spin's face broke into a wide smile. "Okay, first of all, is it someone I know? ...Craig?... C'mon, Craig you have to answer!"

"Yes."

"Alright then, that rules out, like, half the school. Dude, I swear if it's Manny again --"

"It's not."

"Well --"

Spinner looked like he was all out of answers, until --

"It's Emma... You impregnated the hippie."

**Okay, so lying had been a possibility... now it wasn't. Craig would have been more roused to have a reaction if it hadn't been Spinner who found out, but he knew that Spin would keep the secret... and badger him about it for months to come.**

"Spin, she's not a hippie."

"You get all this action. I don't get it." 

"Sex is... well -- well, sex is.. it's _great_, believe me --"

"You're telling me. I wanna have sex."

Poor Spinner. Stuck in virginity mode.

But the consequences of having it otherwise. Craig wondered for a minute if he would take it all back just to avoid his curerent situation, but he knew it had been to big of a thing for him.

"Do you get why I need the job?"

Spinner nodded. "I'll do something." 

Emma concentrated soley on her book, determined not to look up. From across the room, Spinner was being creepy and smiling at her.

"How's the book?" Manny asked stiffly. 

"Umm..." she hadn't actually been reading it. "It's good." She set it to the side. "Manny, do you have any idea why Sean didn't show up for school today? He said he'd see me in math, but he never showed."

A blank stare was all she got for a response.

"Manny, hello?"

Idly turning in her seat, Manny sighed. "I don't know, Emma. Did you do anything to upset him?"

"Upset him? I don't think so, no."

At least not anything that he knew of. 

"Why, did he say something?"

Anger crept over Manny's face. "You called me a slut, Emma. Just look at you now."

Emma watched in disbelief as Manny slammed her book shut and stormed off, disrupting the entire class. Mr. Armstrong tried to call after her, but it was a lost cause.

Spinner's smile lessened.

**Millions of girls had been hrough teen pregnancies. Numerous amounts. And they had gotten through it.**

So what gave Emma the right to complain?

Because she damn well could.

Countless inarticulate hours had passed in that basement, Emma pacing frantically before her mirror, silently screaming to herself.

It just wasn't fair! It wasn't right! It was pure bull.

One mistake -- one screw up -- and now not only she had to pay -- everyone around her did, too.

She sat stiffly on the edge of her bed, convinced someone was watching, critiquing. It was one of those weird human paranoia things.

She had come down for one purpose: To call Manny. But now, as she sat there, hone clamped eagerly in her hand, the line never stopped ringing.

Oh, it had been so close. It had been so close to being peaceful.

Craig had awoken from an afternoon nap in his dusty, sunlit room, hidden beneath a pile of warm blankets. And for one minute, everything was back to normal.

So close. Just not close enough.

Groaning, Craig kicked the covers off with his cock-clad feet, rolling over to the side of the bed. Spinner would be coming over. He'd need way more energy to deal with his cheeriness... actually, a good laugh could be exactly what h needed.

Shuffling to the door, he heard the house bell go off. It was probably Spinner. This gave Craig no reason to rush. He took his time fiddling with the door handle and his jeans while the bell went off like crazy.

"Hold on."

Impatience. How annoying.

Clambering down the stairs, Craig stretched out for the door, twisting the knob to reveal none other than Sean.

_Oh, great_.

**Graffiti on the lockers. It had been a classic stunt in all the movies, in all the books. But now, standing before her own locker, Emma finally understood the gravity of their misfortunes.**

It was streaked with large, black paint, the occasional drip here and there, showing where it had trickled down in the drying process. It was the ugliest word she had ever read.

Slowly bringing her her hand up to chip it away, she saw Ashley round the corner, and knew what was about to happen.

"Emma, what is that?"

The awaited question. Ashley had her hands bound tightly around her books, striding nearer and looking on in concern.

"Why would someone write that?"

Emma was conscience-stricken. Ashley was such a nice person, and she once had a nice boyfriend... _Until I had to go take it all away_.

"I don't know," Emma replied, "I just came in here and it was there. They must have got the wrong locker."

She tried to sound clueless. It then occured to Emma that she _was_ in fact clueless. Why would someone deface her locker? A sick joke? There was no one that knew about the baby.

"Well, that's too bad." Ashley moved closer, leaning against the paint-free lockers. "But you know what might cheer you up? I'm having this small get together at my house for Craig, and I was sort of hoping you could help plan." 

This left Emma flabbergasted. It immediately took her mind off her locker. "Me? Help plan?"

"Yeah, it's only gonna be, like, five or ten people. Just close friends." 

Emma gaped at her, speechless. "Well, why are you even doing it?"

"Craig. It's all for Craig. He's been so good lately, no worrying or freaking out. I think he deserves a little something."

Oh, now she had to say yes.

"When is it?" 


	17. Chapter 17

**Insanity. It was Media Immersion when it hit her. She had to get rid of this baby now! She had to have it gone, to be the only one occupying her body, to be free of the ruin it was going to bring. Seething in her seat, confined to that one spot, she could physically go nowhere. But in her head, she was mentally bounding from one place to another. **

People were looking at her funny, and whispering in the halls, too. Manny was avoiding her, taking Toby and Liberty along for the ride. Now all she had left was Jt.

Why were they all looking at her?

It was the locker, the baby, the way Craig looked at her, the way she knew she looked at him, how she had to hide it. It was Sean, it was Ashley, then it was Manny, then the school. Something was going on with her. Something she couldn't control.

Restricted to that seat while the substitute droned on, hearing the snickering behind her back. Someone knew something she didn't. Someone had said something. Why else would Manny be so cold, the school be so strange?

"Hey, slut."

The same boyish voice called to her.

"Hobag, I'm talking. Look at me."

Alex was summoning her, and Emma knew she had something to say, but had no idea she had something to do. 

"Is it a boy or a girl?" she asked menacingly.

Emma was taken aback. Her thoughts were pulled to her locker... had it been Alex?

"What are you talking about?"

Feigning stupidity was going to do nothing. She faintly wished for Craig to be there with her, to help her, to be next to her, but it was a fleeting wish.

"I asked if it was a boy --" Alex's face crunched into a snarl, her pointy nose widening, "Or a girl." 

"Alex, quiet." Mr. Armstrong scolded from the back of the room.

His order went ignored.

"Hey, do me a favor. If it's a boy, name it after him."

"After _who_?"

This was the part where she licked her lips, cocking her head to the side in triumph. She sat back and raised her voice for the entire class to hear.

"You know, Jay -- the dad."

Every ear in the room heard her words, and every person attatched to it lettup, silently, in horror, halting. Before it had been a rumor, but now, it was fact. It was fact that Emma was a tramp, and Jay was the abuser. 

**Craig was sitting in the library for an English Assignment, pushed off in the darkest corner of the carpeted den. He had always liked this spot. It was secluded from prying eyes, such as the nosy librarians, and nobody ever really paid it much attention. That and it was comfortable. Corners were always comfortable.**

News of Emma had spread around the school like a disease, all fingers pointing, all people guffawing at their misfotrtunes, their mistakes. Really, people were ruthless. Compassion is one of the key elements that makes up a decent person, and these people were lacking sincerely. Can true compassion even be taught?

All the blame that nobody was putting on him, but should. Emma would be the screeching victim, the one with the most weight on her shoulders. She was approximately one month into her duty, and eight grueling months ahead of her. If he could only help her -- if she would only approach him, give him the slightest look of allowance...

"Craig."

A voice? Who would think to look for him in the library?

"Craig, you'll never believe what just happened."

Spinner. Of course Spinner would know where to find him.

"I was hanging out with Marco, and he was trying to tell me all the gossip or whatever. I wasn't listening until he started talking about Sean." 

"What about him?"

_Oh, Sean, you dumbass. You did something illegal. _

Spinner quickly sat down and leaned forward. "He's been missing for like, a week."

"I just saw him yesterday."

"Really? Are you serious? Because not even his landlord's seen him in a week."

"Well, he came over my house, right before you -- has he called anyone?" 

Spinner shrugged. "If he has, you know who it would be. It'd be Emma. He'd call her." 

**That was what persuaded Craig to talk to Emma. Well, it was part of it. _Pick up the pace, pick up the pace._**

He was rushing to Emma's, feeling his mouth moisten and hands sweat. He needed to be nerve-free right now. To be better for her, to be more calm. Knocking on her door, he took a step back,e xamining the neighborhood around him. He had been there countless times... the first at that birthday party three years ago... if only he had known what would befall him in the future. It was sunny, late afternoon, warm. An all around nice atmosphere.

The door swung open. Emma was standing there, and he noticed that she had put on a bit of weight. He expected more to come. She was sobbing, something he also expected. He remembered the last time he had tried to comfort her... yeah, maybe he shouldn't try that again.

"Craig, what are you doing here?" 

"Can I come in?"

He was being so forward, and he knew it.

"I just -- I know we need to talk." 

Nodding, she stepped aside and led him upstairs to her old room, offering him a chair near the window. She had eluded him for long enough, and now he could tell she accepted that they needed to be there together, in that room, no one else.

"I heard Sean's gone," he said in a throaty voice.

"Sean's not gone --" She said, tearing up and holding her breath. "He called -- he, he called and he said he was in Montreal and that he'd be back."

"Emma, I'm-I'm really sorry, for everyone knowing... and thinking it was Jay."

He was getting off easy.

"Yeah, well I don't exactly want them to know it's you, either. They'd hate me even more."

They took long, depthful breaths, steadying themselves. He wanted to make her stop, to just have her and for them to be happy together.

"Today, I was in gym class. I was playing basketball. And this one girl took the ball and -- and she " Emma was tearing up again. "She threw it at my head -- and after in the locker room, her friend _spit_ on me, she spit in my _hair_, Craig, I hate this. I hate this so much. And my mom is going to hate me, they won't support us, and Joey -- _maybe_ Joey will be nice."

Craig tried picturing Joey "nice" after he had impregnated a second girl... and it wasn't going to happen.

"Well, I'll get a job. I was thinking the dot and the book store, I could do the two... and your mom and dad, they're not going to kick you out or something..."

His voice stopped.

"What about Ashley?"

...Breath. Meaningless breath that sustained no thoughts, only kept the two of them lasting, alive and conscience.

"I mean, I'm with Sean, so I don't want you to break up with her. Since you love her and all..."

Criag sat back, sighing. "If I loved Ashley, none of this would have happened." 

**The plans were laid out. Mr. Simpson would be coming home in two weeks, and the two of them would sit everyone down, and alert them of the current events. Tranquility was what they were aiming for. The party Ashley was setting up would be taking place the day after, and Craig couldn't have been dreading it more. While the intentions were good, the aftermath was not going to be.**

"I'm going to decorate the house," she said. "And I'll set up these nice candles on the table, the ones I wanted to use that our wedding." 

His musical side was taking a definite rise, while his academic one was not. How did people expect him to work at times like these? Spinner understood. Being the awesome friend he was, he had taken every step he could to make sure that Craig had things as much under control as possible. In times of misery, it was just great to have someone like Spinner around.

"I'll be your humble man servant, 24/7 -- just not on Fridays. Or Satudays. Or anytime from midnight to eleven."

So the time passed. Craig had stopped in at the Dot and gotten a job, with a gracious recommendation from Spinner, which involved a jolly wave and mischievious grin.

Emma was stocking up on healthy foods for the baby, practicing Yoga, doing everything to keep the baby as top-notch as possible. Mr. Simpson had come home, conscience and safe, and Spike was finally resting. Aside from the occasional -- alright, common -- act of harm from their peers, everything was going alright. That is, until the night of the party.

Everything was ready. It was late evening, and Ashley was dressed, welcoming guests, giving out beverages. She peered out of the curtains. So far, Spinner, Paige and Marco had arrived, and only Craig and Emma were left. The two of them were missing, together.

**Craig was hopping around in his room, buttoning his shirt, setting himself up to go to his party, to play the perfect boyfriend. It occured to him that the breakup with Ashley was sure to be gruesome, so he had postponed it once more, feeling like the biggest coward in all history. Well, a tie between coward and gentlemen... then he remembered the very predicament he was in, and the whole gentlemen thing went out the window.**

Emma had said she had received no word from Sean in a whole week, and Craig was convinced that he was gone forever. A thought that partly upset him, but mostly just excited him. It opened more doors, it helped it. Then again, he didn't want to be second choice.

But he was so giddy! Tonight, he was going to see Emma! And he was going to have a good time. He had decided. He had chosen to finally unite with Emma. For the two of them to be brought together, and to stay that way in their playful darkness, their silly intertwinements. Or at least that's what he had wanted. Joey came bursting in the door, his bald head red, lips pursed together. Craig stumbled backward in fright and confusion.

"Angie's been talking to me, Craig!" he boomed, stepping even closer.

Craig flinched, instinctively defending himself with his hands.

"_Oh,_ is that what you think? You think I'm going to hit you?"

His short stature, shrieking voice. Craig was downright scared. To think that somewhere out there, Emma was in a peaceful enviorment, while he was here, in his mess of a room.

"Let me tell you something -- Just because your daddy hit you as a kid doesn't mean anyone else thinks you're worth hitting."

That was a low blow. It was a blow to his esteem... He _wasn't_ worth it. He wasn't deserving. He was hopeless, and useless. And what a blistering freak he probably looked like, his face heated, hair frizzing. 

"What--_What_ did Angie tell you?"

"Oh, like you don't already know! _Emma_! Emma and you, sleeping together in the same bed."

"I-I have a party to go to!"

He knew that excuse wasn't going to fly, and that it would probably only infuriate Joey even more.

"You're goin NOWHERE! And how dare you think otherwise! I'm going downstairs to call my mom -- you're not living with me. You are _not_ staying here. Maybe she'll take you."

There was utter disgust in every syllable he spat out, plain vigor in his expression. He had said things he hadn't meant, surely. He had been harsher than he normally would have been, but as Craig crumbled to the floor, losing all his needed strength, he knew one thing. Joey never changed his mind, and he would be packing to go to his grandmother's any moment. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Back at the party, Craig was twenty minutes late, and the crackers were running low. Emma had been contributing nothing to the party. From the moment she walked in, to her current state, she had said nothing. It wasn't that she was nervous -- it was more that nobody really could bring up the courage to say anything, and in the face of all their gossip, she too had gone silent.**

Ashley had given her sympathy at the door, about her and her "situation," but that was where the socialities had stopped. Marco and Paige had crowded off to the side, leading Ashley to do the same. It looked as if for a moment Spinner had considered waving, but for whatever reason, he didn't.

She knew they had all heard the rumor, and it infuriated her. They made it all too obvious! They didn't even _bother_ to have the courtesy to try to hide it! Oh, but of course, why would a whore like her deserve coutesy?

Seething in the corner, she sharply darted her head to the window, glaring out at the neighborhood, making tiny insignificant obervations. The flowers were dying. The stars were annoying in their glory. Every night, people flocked from their houses to worship them, to watch them. They had an audience each and every night. And why did they get so much glory and awe? Why was she so unspectacular? She scoffed under her breath. What a waste of mental energy that thought had been.  


**Craig reached Ashley's doorstep, gasping, completely flabbergasted with himself. Thinking of the deep amount of trouble he was in, and the defiance he had just shown, was enough to convince himself that he indeed was dumb, but not enough to make him stop. Composing himself, Craig swung open the door, falling before a room full of startled people.**

The carpet was inexplicably soft. That was all Craig was thinking as he pulled himself up.

"Craig!" Ashley exclaimed, scampering forward to the rescue. "You're late, what happened --"

But Craig paid no notice to his girlfriend's inquisitions. Straightening his shirt, hoping he looked alright, he glanced around for Emma. Acting on tactless thoughts, Craig left Ashley's side and stepped a bit closer to Emma.

"Craig, what are you doing?" Ashley asked.

Reflexively tapping his hand on his pant leg, Craig swallowed hard. "Ash... the party's really nice, but I've gotta talk to you."

"Sure, whatever you want. Just not now, okay? We can talk later. Let's just have some fun."

She wasn't grasping his intentions. She didn't understand that this "talk" was going to be more than a passing conversation. Apparently, neither did Spinner, because he immediately turned up the music and dimmed the lights, prepping the night of "fun."

"Spin!" Craig yelled. "Spin, will you turn that off?"

"Lighten up, hun, it's a party." Paige remarked.

Ashley took his hand for the thousandth time that day. He had decided that it was her signature move.

"So... what do you want to do?" Ashley inquired, grinning.

He wanted to talk to Emma. His whole reason for being there, other than to prove to himself that he was a decent person, was to talk to Emma. The way she was just sitting off there, so devastatingly alone... 

**"Umm, Ashley, I have to go. To the bathroom."**

Ashley let go of his hands, moving to the refreshment table.

"It's alright."

Craig noticed Marco shoving crackers into his mouth behind her.

"I'll be right here when you get back, " she added as she swept away to Paige, who was fretting over a choking Marco.

Feeling a slight concern which he chose to push aside, Craig nodded. He would have to rescue Emma. Save her from this accusing atmosphere. Averting his gaze to the corner, he made a face which he knew must have been extremely creepy, and sauntered off to the staircase, hoping she got the message. 

Spinner was lounging in the largest chair he had ever seen. From the moment he saw it, he knew he had to have it. Who would buy such an enormous piece of furniture? No, really -- who would look at this monstrous heap and be under the delusion that it suited them? 

_It's got a matching pillow,_ Spinner thought in awe, _It has a MATCHING PILLOW. Oh, Marco's alive... cool. Ow, why is Ashley beating me?_

Ashley had apparently retreated from the other side of the room to kill him. She started tugging at his sleeve, motivating him to stand.

"Did Craig tell you where he was going?"

Spinner shook himself from Ashley's grip, inching away.

"Oooow, _no_. What do you care, he's been gone for, like, five minutes."

"Spinner, he's probably fooling around upstairs or something. Will you just go get him?"

Spinner looked around. Bothing Craig and Emma had vanished, so he could in fact infer that Craig very well be fooling around upstairs.

"Spinner? Will you just go get him?"

It had taken a while for Spinner to reach this point, but pausing, he felt a twinge of empathy for her. His friends had truly doomed themselves. 

**Craig had been sitting on the edge of the bed when Emma had entered the room. He had been sitting with one leg falling off the matress, which a second ago had seemed perfectly fine, but now with Emma seeing him was just such an embarrassing position to be caught in.**

She shifted forward and sat, not seeming half as self aware as he was. They said absolutely nothing. The air was free, not nearly as restricted as he thought it would be.

"How many -- well, how many weeks is it?"

She smiled, a daring move. "It's six weeks tomorrow. Snake comes home, and I'm going to have to tell them, and -- I don't know, I don't feel sad." She giggled a bit, her grin widening.

"Joey knows," Craig retorted in a hollow voice, slumping back against the pillows. "So he's probably going to tell Snake and Spike... so... this sucked so much." 

What a teenager thing to say. He knew it as he was saying it, but what was the point of trying to sound literate when it came out so much easier the other way?

He peered through his sweaty hands, which had become clamped to his face, to see Emma, silently weeping, the little mascara she had on streaming down her miserable face. Craig sat up, pointing to his own eye, trying to word what he was trying to say.

"Oh, _Emma_, your --"

Her face beckoned for the end of the sentence.

"Your makeup's running," he finished lamely.

"I-I'll be back."

She went off to the bathroom, undoubedly to correct it. 

Taking the annoying steps two at a time, Spinner finally bounded to the top of the staircase, feeling more energized than before. But wait... if Craig really wasn't in the bathroom, where was he? Spinner glanced around at the collection of doors and froze, cluelessly grabbing out for the handle of the first one and parading inside. And lucky he was.

"Your girlfriend is a psycho!" 

"Spinner!" Craig shouted. "What are you doing in here?"

**"Uhhhg, you know what -- " Craig's extra long sleeves had overcome his hands as he pressed them against his forehead and continued. --it doesn't even matter, you just have to get out. You have to go!"   
As Craig continued to ramble, Spinner sprung his hands to his face, rubbing roughly. He brought them down again, leading Craig's ranting to cease.**

"_Craig_, this is going to be harsh... but... well it's only karma. You're a dumbass. You spend all this time and worry about this big secret and stuff when all of this would have been over weeks ago if you would have said something. I know you didn't want to hurt anyone, whatever. That's nice and all, but you suck at it. What you do isn't prevent pain, you prolong it." 

Spinner's stuffed-nose way of talking caused Craig's face to break into an expression of exasperation, and his entire body to flop backward onto the pillows. Looking at him, it was odd, the mangled position his body had taken, and when it spoke, it only made it odder. His chest rose as he fought to catch the breath he needed to speak.

He called hoarsely, "Is there... IS THERE ANY..." 

But his words had suddenly drifted off again, becoming feeble. Spinner titled his head in annoyance and confusion.

"What? Is there any _what_?"

Bu before an answer could ever be given, Marco came bursting through the door, his long hair he spent so much time lamenting over askew.

"Guys, you'll -- oh my gosh, you need to come. Where's Emma? Is she in the bathroom? EMMA! Emma, you need to come now! It's big! You're boyfriend's here!"

"Wait, Marco," Spinner said. "You have to actually say words for someone to understand you."

"Spin, I just said everything." 

Bitterly, Craig replied, "Yeah, well when you talk faster than the speed of light..."

"You guys don't understand. You're not listening. _Sean's here_.


	19. Chapter 19

For those of you who've been asking me to continue, thank you, and I will within the next couple of days. Your compliments are appreciated.


	20. Chapter 20

**Oh, Sean. Yes, he did have a knack for arriving at the very worst times. And after being thought missing, it's only fair that his entrance be ten times more dramatic than usual.**

Emma came scurrying from the bathroom not a moment later, her face clear of all the makeup she had previously been wearing. She must have been in the middle of whatever she had been doing.

"Did you say Sean was here?" she asked.

"Yeah, that's what I'm telling you." Marco answered excitedly, gripping the door and hopping a little. "C'mon, we've got to go. He's downstairs."

"Wait, Emma," Craig said, feeling very neglected. "Where're you going?"

Without an answer, she was out and about, only Spinner left to nourish his broken hopes. Which of course he wasn't going to go.

"Did she just flip me off?" he asked dumbly.

"Yes, Spinner, that's exactly what she did," Craig replied, slapping the door into his opposite hand and leaping through the exit. This was another obstacle. He had fought his way to get here, thinking it was the night, only to find that it wasn't. By the time he arrived downstairs, in his private little huff, Sean was on the second line of the American preamble.

"To establish..." Burp. "A more --" Tripped over the stoop there. "Lizzerish... no, _no_, perfect union. The perfect union."

To no surprise, clutched in his hand was a very trashy can of beer. Craig didn't know where he had dragged it, but it looked as if it had been to hell and back. Spinner found his way downstairs by then, joining the rank of the rest of the sober witnesses, all standing in their stupors.

"Emma? Emma, I -- c'mon, I can see you. Open the, open the window."

He was obviously one of those sluggish drunks. Stumbling over everything from his laces to the very air, he couldn't keep balance.

"Emma, get him out of here now!" Paige demanded, taking charge. Wrenching the window open, she stuck her head outside into the brisk night air. "Go away! Go away _now_!" Seeing the attempts were fruitless, she turned back and said, "Emma, could you please control your boyfriend?"

The events that followed would prove that she indeed could not. She could control no one, and she especially couldn't control Craig. 

**"Emma, Eeemmaa... oh my God, I love your name. Is just funny... iszz funny, you get it?"**

The moon had risen in its predictable patterns, making the rotting leaves twirling on the ground look even more decayed than before. Sean crushed a pile of them in his drunken stupor.

"That's it, I'm calling my mom," Paige exclaimed. "Tonight was supposed to be fun and your boyfriend ruined it!"

It hadn't been fun from the start. It didn't matter what it was now, because whatever it had been int he beginning, it hadn't been good, anyway.

"Emma," Sean repeated, stepping forward and reaching through the window for her hand. "Listen." His eyes were half closed, and his speech was outrageously slurred, but Emma felt it only courteous to listen, although she had the strong urge to escape from his tainted breath. "I came back for you, okay? All for you. I was staying with Tr..." he looked a bit dissappointed in himself and his inability to complete a sentence, but pushed on, determined. "I was _staying_ with my mom and dad, but only for a bit, 'cause I had to think, you know? I had to think about you and Jay... and when I talked to him abou it, he was all mad and kept saying how he didn't do it... but whatever, I don't care! Just come with me, Emma. We can go away, and get married and live happily ever after."

There was a slight stirring among the lot of them. The mood had suddenly gone tranquil, when --

"Oh, shut _up_, Sean! You'll never be married to Emma. Don't fool yourself." 

**"You don't get it!" Sean roared as he violently grabbed Craig was his wimpy shirt. "You - have - no - _say_."**

Before Craig could answer, there was a fist coming at his face. One, two, numerous horrified faces gazed back at him before the collision actually took place. And there was blood. There was lots of blood, the whole of it streaming poetically from his nose, a more heart-stopping red than he could have possibly imagined. Deep seething red, seeping out onto his pale complexion.

Emma must have noticed that Craig was losing his balance, because she kept shouting that they were "going too far." Ashley must have agreed. As Craig was wrestling Sean to the floor -- and winning, by his surprise -- he saw her from the corner of his eye, dashing wildly from the room with marco and Paige at her side. 

**She was saying something negative, like "I can't believe I have to put up with all this from my _boyfriend_," while Paige nodded in agreement, but Craig didn't care. The one goal he had in mind was to do as much physical damage to Sean as possible, any surface he could touch, get to, anything. It occured to him for a split second how barbaric he was being, but the deed was done, and there was no going back. If Emma thought him too savage, he'd have to accept her judgement. Of course, he wouldn't like it.**

He winced as Sean got him in the gut. 

The brawl had been going on for about thirty seconds or so by the time Spinner decided to intervene. Ashley, Paige and Marco had gotten fed up with the scene and had went off to call her parents. Emma had stayed to the side during the whole masculine ordeal, watching, overwhelmed with this indescribable feeling. It was neither good nor bad.

Emma had never seen Sean in such a light. She had seen him intoxiiated before -- to her dismay -- but now it was something entirely different. Something far more embarrassing, humiliating. Sean was not only in front of numbers of their acquaintances, but he was doing it in front of Craig, and that somehow made a difference. It was as though her boyfriend was something she was supposed to be able to show off to him, to brag about in order to make him envious. Her boyfriend was a barrier between the two of them, and that had always comforted her. Knowing that what she wanted was off limits, no matter what, that she had this bumper to protect her and stop her from doing anything foolish, had always served as a benefit. But it had to stop. She had somehow managed to drive two boys off the edge. And Craig -- Craig just looked exhilerated. Dishelved, violent, unstable. It was funny how boys could be attractive in their instability.

"You guys need to stop!" Spinner yelled, his voice becoming hoarse, jumping up with Craig's wailing arms barricaded in his own. "Stop it, Sean! Get back!"

There was no man left to contain Sean, so, shaking a bit, Emma stepped forward and placed her hand on his sleeve.

"This whole thing, Craig, I swear, it's getting stupid," Spinner said. "This whole thing is stupid!"

"I don't get why you care!" Sean shrieked, dusting himself off. "Emma doesssn't care what you think! You're just Craig, I'm the soulmate!"

Craig had loosened himself from Spinner. His shirt was torn in several places and his curly hair was more astray than Emma had ever seen it. The majority of the blood had been wiped from his face.

"Oh, you're the soulmate?" he screeched. He looked like a boy at the last of his ends. "Well, I'm the Dad!" 

**QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ**

**All motion in the room stopped. Emma's eyes were frozen on Craig, and Spinner gave out a sigh that seemed to say _Well, now that that's done and over..._ Now was the time Craig expected to be attacked, but no. Sean's moves were anything but violent. He took a long glance at Craig, up and down, as if wondering how Emma could have let him touch her, then without a breath, stormed from the room, muttering about how he had to call Jay.**

It was obvious his hurt went deeper than what he was showing, and there was a twinge of guilt in Craig's chest as he watched him go.

"Craig," Spinner said, "You said that pretty loud... like, you might want to go check that no one else heard it."

Craig grinned and reflected how great a friend Spinner was. 

QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ

Ashley was ranting to Paige and Marco outside when Craig stuck his head out the door.

"I mean, I throw him a party, and he ruins my house. How can he be so callous?"

"Hun, Craig's been acting weird for a long time. Maybe you should talk to his dad about his meds."

"No, Craig's fine," Marco interrupted. "It's not the meds. I don't know what it is, but it's not his meds."

He couldn't go out there. They were discussing him -- how tactless would it be of him to go out there now? In the middle of picturing the scene, he heard Emma approach him, stopping behind his shoulder.

"Next time don't wear red boxers. It didn't match your shirt."

Turning his head a bit, he smiled in amusement, still gripping the edge of the door. She was so appealing at that moment. Something inside of him made him feel almost like he had _won_ her, or not won her, but had made her his, or more his than she would ever be, anyway. His feelings went from guilt and depression to giddieness and longing. Taking her hands, he lead her away, the two of them skipping to the dining room, where they could be alone. It was the wrong place, wrong time, but what in their relationship had been right? And people were just too tempting sometimes.

Giggling like seventh graders, they reached their destination, and Craig craned his neck a bit to innocently place his lips on hers, just for four sweet seconds. 

"What the hell are you doing?" An angered voice ripped through their moment. She was standing near the entrance of the room, an expression of betrayal and sadness on her face. Paige, Marco and Spinner were gathering by now. Spinner threw his hands in the air as he came upon the mess.

"...Ashley..." Craig began weakly.

But before he could say anything more, she had let out a whimper and run off, Paige and Marco at her heels once again.

"Ashley, don't get too upset!" Marco called after her. "You've got so much more going for you!" 

"He's the one missing out, forget him! Oh, Ashley, stop!" Paige pleaded.

Spinner shrugged at Craig, giving him the deepest look of sympathy, and he too went off. This left only Emma and Craig, their hands still intertwined, both of their postures lame, simply standing in the room, the darkness growing on them like mold. 

**QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ**

**"Craig... Craig, will you please get up, it's after twelve."**

Joey's gentle plea was enough to rouse Craig out of his hazy sleep. The night before had been a disaster. Its events elongated a heavy weight of dread in his chest. He could feel it weighing down constantly. After Ashley had ran off, she barricaded herself inside her bedroom, where she shouted instructions through the door for Marco to kick them out of the house. Marco, always being the nice one, had to side with the girl who was crying her eyes out, not the doomed little kid who had started the whole mess... which would be Craig. Paige had slammed the door in their faces, but nor before giving them an evil glare and the finger. No one wanted to side with the two of them, no one wanted to ease their guilt; it seemed that Ashley had won all the supporters, all the sympathy -- and Craig knew she had deserved to. Spinner had promised to call the next morning with details on the situation before he and Emma left on their worldless strides home. And after tiptoeing into the darkened house, feeling his heartbeat race with every creak and shadow, Craig finally made it into the sactuary of his own bedroom, fully unprepared to deal with the consequences the next day would bring.

The last thing he had expected was to see Joey sitting by his bedside, rolling over a ring in his course fingers. It seemed that he, too, was mulling current horrors. Craig remained quiet and wide eyes as he gazed.

"Craig I..." Joey let out a mix of a chuckle and a sigh, shook his head a tad, then continued, "I'm sorry. Last night -- I don't know -- I was meaner to you than I've been to anyone else my entire life." 

His face scrunched up, the emotion getting the best of him. Apologizing was a humiliating and exposing ordeal, and watching Joey go through it was no easier.

"I was just so angry... you know, the whole thing... the first time was bad enough, but Craig, what are you really thinking?"

He smiled in awe and leaned back, staring away, trying to articulate the words.

"I don't want to be too harsh... but have you really thought about all the things this will start?"

For the first time, Craig found his voice. Yes, he had thought about it. Yes, he knew the road that lie ahead of him. And no... he didn't really have a way to solve any of it.

"It is all I have been thinking about for the past six weeks," Crraig toned somberly, pulling himself into a seated position. "Everybody's going to find out."

Raising his eyebrows in agreement, Joey looked away again. "Speaking of finding out... I haven't told Snake and Spike yet... they get back from the hospital today." He brought his eyes to Craig's. "I thought it would be a job for you and Emma."

A few seconds passed in the nonverbal state. The prospect of exposing his secret to a _third_ party in less than twenty-four hours was undeniably unappealing.

Craig cleared his throat. "What uhh... what time do they get back?" 

**Craig... Craig, will you please get up, it's after twelve."**

Joey's gentle plea was enough to rouse Craig out of his hazy sleep. The night before had been a disaster. Its events elongated a heavy weight of dread in his chest. He could feel it weighing down constantly. After Ashley had ran off, she barricaded herself inside her bedroom, where she shouted instructions through the door for Marco to kick them out of the house. Marco, always being the nice one, had to side with the girl who was crying her eyes out, not the doomed little kid who had started the whole mess... which would be Craig. Paige had slammed the door in their faces, but nor before giving them an evil glare and the finger. No one wanted to side with the two of them, no one wanted to ease their guilt; it seemed that Ashley had won all the supporters, all the sympathy -- and Craig knew she had deserved to. Spinner had promised to call the next morning with details on the situation before he and Emma left on their worldless strides home. And after tiptoeing into the darkened house, feeling his heartbeat race with every creak and shadow, Craig finally made it into the sactuary of his own bedroom, fully unprepared to deal with the consequences the next day would bring.

The last thing he had expected was to see Joey sitting by his bedside, rolling over a ring in his course fingers. It seemed that he, too, was mulling current horrors. Craig remained quiet and wide eyes as he gazed.

"Craig I..." Joey let out a mix of a chuckle and a sigh, shook his head a tad, then continued, "I'm sorry. Last night -- I don't know -- I was meaner to you than I've been to anyone else my entire life." 

His face scrunched up, the emotion getting the best of him. Apologizing was a humiliating and exposing ordeal, and watching Joey go through it was no easier.

"I was just so angry... you know, the whole thing... the first time was bad enough, but Craig, what are you really thinking?"

He smiled in awe and leaned back, staring away, trying to articulate the words.

"I don't want to be too harsh... but have you really thought about all the things this will start?"

For the first time, Craig found his voice. Yes, he had thought about it. Yes, he knew the road that lie ahead of him. And no... he didn't really have a way to solve any of it.

"It is all I have been thinking about for the past six weeks," Crraig toned somberly, pulling himself into a seated position. "Everybody's going to find out."

Raising his eyebrows in agreement, Joey looked away again. "Speaking of finding out... I haven't told Snake and Spike yet... they get back from the hospital today." He brought his eyes to Craig's. "I thought it would be a job for you and Emma."

A few seconds passed in the nonverbal state. The prospect of exposing his secret to a _third_ party in less than twenty-four hours was undeniably unappealing.

Craig cleared his throat. "What uhh... what time do they get back?" 

**"Oh, just the girl I've been dying to see!" Mr. Simpson exclaimed four hours later, clutching his chest for support. "_Emma_!" He embraced his step-daughter into a hug, ruffling her hair and placing a large kiss on the top of her head. "I missed you so much."**

Emma felt the same way. As she clung to her father she reflected how strong he seemed, even though he was still partially injured. He was just so _good_, and she had missed that about it. As she watched her mother carry the hospital bags inside, she wrapped her arms around him tighter.

"Whoa, easy there, we don't want to have to send me back," Mr. Simpson kidded.

The day had fallen to night. It had been one day since Ashley had found out. Twenty four hours. No, twenty- two hours and seventeen minutes. Emma just liked to be precise about things. But now, things were about to get worse, and she knew it. It took about fifteen minutes for her parents to get situated before her mom finally set up a pot of tea and told her dad to sit down.

"Take a breathre, Snake. You'll never heal if you keep moving around like that. Jack'll be there in a few minutes, just rest for now." 

This was it. Their calm and chipper moods were about to transform, and she may not see them like this for a very long time -- maybe never. Spike was setting up the cups and Snake was grabbing the sugar. Both looked very peaceful, very natural. Emma leaned back against the sink and cleared her throat, feeling her throat clog, feeling her stomach become more transparent than ever before. How how they not noticed?

"We've got something to tell you. Craig, you can come out now."

And arising from the shadows, Craig sauntered upon them, his expression bleaker than anyone else's in the room. Emma cleared her throat once more and started powerfully.

"We've got..." She turned to Craig in uncertainty and bent her head down. It was like a play being botched. Her performance was ruined. Snake and Spike looked on in confusion while she whispered, "Craig, did you want to tell them?"

Bringing his head down to her level, Craig listened to her inquiry and heard her tremble in it. Feeling himself shaking, he grabbed hold of her wrists to comfort her. "It'll sound better coming from you."

Weather or not he was correct or not, Emma did not know. She couldn't picture what she had to say sounding good coming from anyone. _Tell them... tell them, and get this over with_.

"We've screwed up," She admitted tearfully, honestly, slowly.

But suddenly her voice fell shy. For the first time in her life, she couldn't speak. She couldn't articulate her words, she couldn't form an opinion, a thought, and the minutes were trickling by oh so slowly --

"We're pregnant," Craig finished lamely, throwing his hands in the air. 


End file.
